The birth story of Eowyn Grace... part 1

So do not fear, for I am with you;  do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
~ Isaiah 41:10~

 

     This is the birth story of Eowyn "Wynnie" Grace Goble. Wynnie's birth was a planned homebirth. She was in a hurry to get here and was born unexpectedly unassisted with just her Momma in attendance and surprised us all being breech. 
 
     This story is not meant to be a tale of my strength but rather of the strength given to me by my Father in Heaven. Without my faith and trust in the Lord and His perfect design of birth and a woman's body this story could have been very different. I believe without my submission to the Lord in these moments and calling out to Him my baby's birth could have been very different. If anything the birth story of Eowyn Grace Goble is an enormous testimony of a perfect loving God who upholds His children in their hour of need. He's again proved to me that He provides perfectly in every moment of our lives and His blessings are beyond imagination.

     Isaiah 41:10 was the "verse of the day" on my cell phone July 19th 2012. It was God's first gift to me that morning. The day started out as normal. The alarm went off for Steve to go to work at about 6:20am. I hauled my big pregnant self out of bed to shut it off and went to put Steve's lunch together and do my other early morning "wifely" chores. I went back to bed grabbing my cell phone from the charger and I first read Isaiah 41:10. I couldn't go right back to sleep so I just kind of laid in bed half watching TV then decided to pray for awhile. It was really nice to just lay there and talk to the Lord. I don't remember any of my specific prayers that morning just spending time with the Lord and it soothed my soul.

     Around 7:30 still half praying half dosing off I felt my very first "real" contraction. Everything I'd felt up until that moment had just been a Braxton Hick. I wasn't even sure if this was real and I didn't want to get excited. I acknowledged it was real and waited to see if another would come. I felt another one after about 5 minutes. I decided to open up the contraction timer app on my phone for the first time. Sure enough I was having contractions lasting 60-90 seconds every 5 min. I decided to make sure they were consistent for 30 min before I called Sherry (my midwife). I stayed in bed resting and relaxing (foolishly) thinking maybe I could doze and get a little more sleep.

     Around 8:15 I'd been having consistent contractions for just over 30 min so I grabbed my phone, grabbed a waterproof pad(in case my water broke) and went out into the living room. I turned on the computer thinking I'd just sit around make some phone calls and wait to see what happened. I emailed Steve told him what was going on, called my mom, woke up my brother Kyle and I called Sherry. Sherry told me she would pack her car up and get on her way and to call her back in 30 min if things were still moving along. At 8:45 I was still going as consistent as could be. It was like someone had just flipped a switch and my labor had turned on. I was standing up thru my contractions and swaying my hips. During each contraction I was singing the song that reminded me of Isaiah 41:10. "I'll strengthen thee help thee and cause thee to stand upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand" It played over and over in my head while I calmly worked thru each contraction.

     These contractions were different from with Jeriah it was definitely back labor. My hips felt like they were being squeezed in a vice and all the pressure I felt was on my tailbone rather than my cervix. They were more difficult and painful for sure. I was already blowing thru them which should have indicated to me that things were moving quickly. I called Sherry told her things were still going. My contractions were now coming every 3 to 5 minutes. She said she was on her way. Sitting at the computer was becoming more difficult and painful so I told Steve I would text him any news and I moved to the couch. My thought being that if I was on my knees or all 4's the contractions would be easier to cope. I also hoped it would lessen the wrenching back labor. I knew back labor was a sign baby might not be in the best position so I wanted to be in a good position to help my baby move into the best one.

     Steve didn't head straight home. Not having any paid time off after his own medical nightmare in June we wanted to be sure things were happening before he left work. We'd agreed he would wait until Sherry arrived to tell me whether we had a few hours or if Steve should get home now. I did tell him things seemed to be moving fast and then a few minutes later told him he should come home sooner than later. A lot of what happened after I moved to the couch was a blur! My text message history is the best recollection I have. I know I talked to Kyle some and asked him to bring the laundry basket of birth supplies out so they would be accessible when needed.

     It was probably around 9:10 or 9:15 when things really got intense. I couldn't believe how strong my contractions were and how quickly they got that way. I felt my body starting to push and I truly could not believe it! It was too soon surely I didn't need to push yet. I was only pushing because I was in a hurry to get this over with! This "pushing" was all in my head. I couldn't be pushing because Sherry wasn't here, Steve wasn't here and I couldn't do this without Steve to keep me focused like he did with Jeriah! HOW COULD I BE PUSHING???

     My own disbelief that I was truly pushing aside I wanted to allow my body to do what it did I was trying to submit to the natural urges my body was experiencing. Pushing was almost a relief thru the whole birth. It was intense and seemed out of my control.  I think the emotional and mental weight of the circumstances overshadowed most of the physical pain my body was going thru. I think I just  didn't have time to feel I was so focused on the business at hand.  The urge to push was intense and I was afraid the only clear thought in my head was to call out to the Lord! And I DID! LOUDLY! I can't remember exactly what I said but I just cried out to the Lord for help for strength for guidance and everything He could heap upon me in that moment. I'd spent the whole of my pregnancy "preaching" about trusting my body and trusting God's design for pregnancy and birth God was calling me out on it and asking me to trust Him. I didn't really have an alternative choice under the circumstances.

     Poor Kyle I don't know what he was thinking watching me and listening to me. I certainly didn't expect or necessarily want him to bear witness to my birth not like this anyways. I'm sure he didn't expect to either though he has assured my since that its fine he isn't scarred for life. I'm relieved he was "spared" the most graphic bits. I had another pushing contraction and my water broke but I wasn't 100% certain at the time that it was my water. I don't remember wetness as much as just the acknowledgement something popped. I couldn't stop thinking...How could it be this soon it can't be this soon. I was in a state of disbelief.  With the next contraction I needed to know I was truly pushing. So I put my hand down in my pajama pants.  I needed to feel that I was actually PUSHING! Sure enough I felt that I was opening and stretched. I felt more trying to determine exactly what I was feeling. I couldn't see not only because of my pajama pants but I was standing up on my knees leaning forward on the couch cushions.

      I let my fingers wander over and felt something that had to be the umbilical cord. That sent me into a panic the first thought in my head was "Cord prolapse"... Umbilical Cord Prolapse can be deadly if my baby's cord was coming out first it was trouble my baby could be starved for oxygen and I had no idea how to deal with it. Kyle was standing there looking quite helpless and confused. I looked up and told him to call 911! Hoping someone could help guide me through this so my baby could arrive safely.

     This was when God intervened and continued to prove He was in control. Jeriah marched out of the bedroom to see what was going on. He was unaccustomed to hearing mommy's LOUD fervent prayers (more accustomed to the quiet soft ones whispered at bedtime). He'd come to investigate. I remember the rumpled sleepy look on his face the last time I saw him as an "only child." Kyle immediately swooped into uncle mode and got Jeriah settled with Umizoomi in the other room. Kyle never did call 911.

      I kept praying and feeling with my fingers trusting and asking God for help and what to do next. As I continued to feel I realized I wasn't feeling a round head but I felt like columns with the cord in between. I'm not sure if I was feeling legs with feet tucked inside or a squishy little butt. I had another urge to push  and then  there were sweet baby feet. I realized my baby was coming into the world foot first! It was around this point I relaxed just a little. Thankfully God had even prepared me for a breech baby by guiding me to read birth stories and articles about breech births. The one thing the ONLY thing I could remember in that instance was "HANDS OFF! I felt a foot move which reassured me that my baby was ok and alive. I had a break between contractions and Kyle came out of the bedroom from settling Jeriah. I sent him outside to look for Sherry hoping so so hard she was pulling into the driveway at that moment!

     In the next push baby was free except for shoulders and head I just relaxed and allowed my body and my baby to do what they needed to I had my hands there to support and caress but didn't grab, pull or do anything to help. In the next push my baby was free. I did feel a ring of fire at some point and I felt the baby moving down in my body like a hard slippery ball of pressure but I don't remember pain. I certainly don't remember excruciating "I'm going to die" unmanageable pain. My thoughts were too focused on delivering this baby and listening for the Lord's guidance!  

      I immediately brought baby to my chest so I could see everything was ok. I wanted to make sure  baby could breathe with me and feel safe and warm against me. I looked down at that beautiful little person in shock and awe.  I caught my breath and probably relaxed a little. My sweet baby let out a few good cries to reassure me it was ok. and I encouraged it caressing and touching it the whole time to stimulate it and reassure it Mommy was there. I looked at the clock and noted the time of 9:23am. Then I put baby down on the water proof pad I had THANKFULLY had the good sense to put under me when I moved to the couch. I briefly glanced down and discovered we had baby girl but didn't give it much more though than that as I noticed the cord was around her neck not dangerously so as she had screamed but I unwound it. I stripped off my shirt so I could hold my baby skin to skin.

      Kyle came back in without Sherry to my disappointment and he found me with a baby on my chest. I was pretty shell shocked at this point and trying to find my head. I couldn't believe it was over, I couldn't believe I'd done it alone with only the Lord and the brains in my head. I had trusted the Lord I had trusted my body and I had trusted in birth.

     I don't know when my brain truly came back to me or if it really did but I managed to call Sherry. I can't remember what I said word for word but it was something to the effect of... "I just delivered my breech baby by myself in my living room." I think she was pretty shocked and certainly surprised! I told her baby was ok I was ok and she told me she was close. I relaxed and waited for her to get here! I couldn't call Steve so I just sent him a text message telling him to call me. When he did I told him he was a daddy again. I asked if he wanted to know who our baby was and he said no. He wanted to wait until he got home. I told Kyle to call my mom and tell her baby was here but I told him I wasn't telling what the baby was until Steve knew. I knew that would irritate the snot out of my mom but felt Steve deserved to know first.

    I  figured at some point I should move and get more comfortable. I had Kyle hand me some chux pads and my robe so I could move from the floor to sit on the couch. I laid the chucks out on the couch but I never did move I was still in my head trusting that God or my instincts would tell me what to do next to move not to move. I was still kneeling on the floor when I heard Sherry come in the door.

I don't know that I remember much once Sherry arrived. I know I felt like I could finally relax and breathe.  Sherry helped me to deliver the placenta and to sit on the couch. I did and I remember allowing Wynnie to latch onto my breast to nurse. She latched herself and it was perfect from the start no pain just a sweet baby girl doing what she was supposed to do. I touched her all over there wasn't much vernix on her but what there was I rubbed into her skin. I smelled her. She smelled delicious and intoxicating. It was a month before She had  first bath because I didn't want to wash off that scent!

      Soon after Sherry arrived Steve came home and another wave of relief came over me. Things were ok now I could relax more. Steve stood behind the couch his head close to mine and I introduced him to our daughter. I told him we had our Wynnie. That Grandma Goble has given us her blessing and we had a sweet baby girl. (The story of Eowyn's name is another story to hopefully be told later) I think he teared up a little. We had a moment a sweet little married moment together to mark the birth of our daughter and the expansion of our family.
 

           Eowyn Grace on the day of her birth looking up at her Momma

Crunchy Crunch Crunch...

Urban dictionary defines crunchy mama as a Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods.

I remember when I was pregnant and reading all these things I was overwhelmed with the tags Mom's used to describe themselves it all swirled around in my brain and made no sense. Now that I've spent about 14months in this mommy world its much clearer and I find myself identifying more and more with a certain type. Yes, its true I'm crunchy I think I become crunchier by the day and its not because I want to be cool or follow any trend or even be a part of a group. I think I'm just crunchy because all of these things that are "crunchy" are things that just make the most sense to me on many different levels!

I'm not perfectly crunchy. I wish we could eat more organically, locally and sustainably. I hope at some point we can but by and large I at least cook whole foods and avoid processed foods as much as possible (save that dratted Pepsi addiction). I would like to research and pray about gentle discipline the bible says I can spank my kids and encourages it but I wonder if there are gentler ways so spanking is a last resort instead of a first one. I hope and pray my next child can be born peacefully at home or in a birthing center. I'm looking into but have yet to take the plunge into Natural family planning but I'm getting there day by day... Tonight I was looking into "No-Poo" that is abolishing shampoo/conditioner and washing my hair with baking soda and apple cider vinegar. It saves money, has no harsh chemicals and comes with the promise of fuller shinier bouncier hair something that has been lacking in my life lately.

I feel like such a rebel admitting these things but I don't think any of them are really surprising to anyone especially if you're my friend on facebook. LOL I seem to get on my crunchy soap box a lot there. I like being crunchy it fits me it works for me and my family. My hubby thinks I'm nuts sometimes but a lot of the times after I've done it and he's seen how it works he agrees with me that its good. I also pester him to death with "Did you knows?" and "Hey this article suggests..." I love my husband he's very tolerant and loving of all my crunchiness!

I enjoy meeting like minded Mama's I found this blog Uniquely Normal Mom tonight and read through and really enjoyed it a lot. Its always fun to see and learn from other Mom's what they do and how they live I find I always learn something new! She's also giving away an ERGO which is on my wish list before we make Jeriah a big brother! :)

My Cutie's Cloth Booty!

He was just a few days past 6 weeks old... I had 24 brand new diapers sitting waiting for him to be big enough to use. I didn't believe those BIG diapers could fit on my sweet tiny little boy. It took a nudge of encouragement from my friend Kelly before I tried it. It turned out that despite looking like it was going to eat him IT FIT!! That was the last day Jeriah wore a disposable diaper.
If you figure that every disposable diaper costs $0.25 each and a child goes thru about 7 diapers a day over 365 days that's about $638.75 we have saved not buying diapers. That savings while small has helped make it possible for ME to be the one changing every one of those diapers(GRandma has changed a few too). It has allowed me to be here with my baby every day of his life. Its ironic I haven't blogged about his first birthday yet but I'll blog about his cloth diaper anniversary lol. Maybe I'll get there its still hard to admit he's 1 year old. Admitting he's had a soft fluffy cloth butt for a year is easier!
I haven't ever regretted my decision to use cloth diapers even with the poopiest messes. EVEN BETTER all but 1-2 of those poopy messes was contained in the diaper! Washing is pretty much as easy as tossing them in and starting it up. I haven't ever had a problem with my diapers I haven't ever needed to strip them I treat them with care and love because I hope they'll last me thru a few kids! I am interested in trying other kinds and styles but I don't feel the urge to buy every cute diaper I see. I have been tempted seriously by Beatles diapers, Sushi Diapers and Super Mario diapers. Someday I'll have a girl (I hope) and I'll really have to find a way to buy some ruffly butt fluff! I'm just thankful everyday for what I have and what it means!
I also am a year overdue in saying THANK YOU!!! I did/do have a good adorable toddling excuse for not saying it sooner since he came the day after I received this wonderful gift. I'm still late saying it... All 24 of my wonderful diapers were a collective gift from the women at my church. My sweet sisters chipped in so I could be a weirdo who uses cloth diapers. I received everything I need 24 diapers, 3 wet bags, more wipes than I can count, a diaper sprayer, Baking soda, liners and i may be forgetting something. I am tremendously thankful to all of you all of them. Again it has helped make staying home with my baby a reality and in part allowed me my "dream job" STAYING HOME being Jeriah's Momma!

EPIC FAIL! With a glimmer of hope....

So I've failed at my May Challenge which makes me sad I had really wanted to do it and spring clean my house... but in glancing thru the book (which is a perfectly fine good book) I found it to be a spring cleaning book and not so much a manage your every day life kind of book So until I can get a handle on the everyday its hard to imagine adding epic tasks like scrubbing my walls to it. I was amazed and disgusted tho when I scrubbed my kitchen cabinets blech... Its amazing to me how things get dirty that you wouldn't think get dirty offhand...

So a glimmer of hope I know my house isn't filthy! I could deal with the small amounts of shame if a friend dropped by un-announced most of the time. I have started just making little rules for myself tho to help me control the chaos. That way I don't feel like I have an insurmountable list of things to do. Among these; pick up Jeriah's toys when he sleeps This contributes to the overall cleanliness of the living room. I've also discovered if the toys are picked up he plays with them more lol. As soon as he's able to I'm going to start teaching him to help clean up the toys its on the horizon I can see it! :) Another thing I've tried to add is 30 min of kitchen clean up. Its easy for me on easy dinner nights when we only dirty 2 plates to leave the dishes for tomorrow but after 2 days of leaving the frying pan and 2 plates plus other assorted dishes I need to clean the kitchen badly!

I think the biggest challenge is time I feel like I need all day to clean but I'm learning cleaning up doesn't take a whole lot of time I just think it does cuz I don't want to do it. It reminds me of homework at some point I realized its easier to DO it and get it done than to not do it and suffer the consequences.

I do hope to read thru and complete the challenges in the book someday for the heart and home overhaul!

Week 1...

And so it begins... I'm going to post weekly but I'll try and say something about each day. What I learned or what God put on my heart how much I hate folding laundry... stuff like that :)

Day 1:
This day brought the question Why do I want a clean home... um isn't that obvious? I want to not be afraid if someone comes over. I want to have people over.I want to walk into a room and not see work waiting for me. I want to serve my family. I want it to be safe for my son so I don't find another "made in china" sticker in his diaper. I want home to be comfy and relaxing I want to relax and enjoy my family here not be thinking about how badly I need to dust the ceiling fan!
The idea behind this list is to remind me why I spend time everyday doing these things. Some days I feel like I clean my kitchen just to dirty it again. Far too often this happens and it saddens me. I was challenged to write a Mission statement for myself to motivate me everyday when I roll my eyes at the thought of doing whatever chore AGAIN!

"My home is the place where my family lives and it should feel lived in and full of life. I want to bring life to my family. I want my family to see that I desire to serve them as their wife and mommy." I may change this... LOL

My chore for day 1 was to look ahead at all the tasks in the days to come and ensure I have all the necessary potions, scrubs, sponges and scrapers! This may have been a bad idea cuz I had to look ahead at all the chores I have to look forward to... LOL On the plus side there are some I won't be able to do such as clean out my utility room. I don't really have one it kind of gets lumped in with the kitchen so on those day My goal will be to work on the other projects around my tiny sweet little home that I feel need my attention like dusting that darn ceiling fan.

Needs: febreeze and I think thats it.

Day 2:

Reminds us that women are life givers and give life with our words, our homes, our church etc. The challenge is to look at my home as something to make alive. What can I do to make it feel alive for me, Steve andJeriah? Off the top of my head i'm going to start opening the windows i think... Sunshine pouring in makes me feel rejuvenated and i hope it will have a similar effect on Jeriah. Also Flowers I wish I could put fresh flowers somewhere. Maybe i'll buy a little pot of flowers to grow in my kitchen!

My Cleaning Challege: Kitchen-clean out and scrub down my fridge and freezer! *sigh* usually my fridge isn't full of leftovers and such but this time it was and having space in it again is good! That and it looks empty... EEK until you wrench open the produce drawer and then I feel better deeing it so full of good things! :)

Day 3: Epic FAIL....Time to regroup I am going to *TRY* and finish my cleaning chores this weekend! and can hopefully get back on track by Monday... Not to make excuses because I did have moments of selfish laziness and facebook time and I wanna talk to my husband time... Jeriah's also teething and he's a horrible teether even with his amber teething necklace even chewing on frozen washcloths. He had a slight fever and was throwing up he's been chewing on anything he can get in his mouth... He also sleeps so erratically when teething so I in turn sleep erratically :( We've also realized we need to start changing how we've been feeding him so I've been trying to plot a new course in that regard. Lactivist that I am was relying too much on my milk to nourish him and while it is perfect and complete he needs additional things now and I need to be more proactive and diligent about feeding him. I never starved him but I often thought while out and about I'll just nurse him and la de da and he need more than that now. I feel negligent in some ways but I always offered him a variety of healthy good food and I've always let him choose to eat what he wants to eat and how much. Its a new dance for him and I to learn together. He has a lot of butter in his future and i might make him some rich eggy vanilla pudding. I'm also going to try and cut out 1-2 of those sweet precious nursing times . Weaning a baby the process of transitioning him (no matter how slowly) from the milk of my breast to other foods is hard.

We're also looking at and praying about moving so I've been scouring Craigs list looking for a new home that would be a little bigger and hopefully the same price for rent thats closer to work for Steve. This cleaning challenge is GOOD in the regard I can get a head start on cleaning it up before we move out even tho it will be hard to leave :(

I remain committed and will try to persevere... maybe this 31 day challenge will take me 2 months but I'm sure there are lessons and blessings to be learned!

A Challenge....

*ominous music playing*

So I heard about this book 31 Days to Clean:Having a Martha House the Mary way by Sarah Mae on facebook a friend of mine got a copy for free (I think?) then another friend posted a link to a blog about raising homemakers (filed that one away for a future daughter God may bless me with) and the book was advertised there AND this challenge was offered. This book seemed to keep popping up and I was intrigued at the idea of a book that might teach me a system of keeping my home. I struggle with this and not because I don't enjoy cleaning but I feel like I don't have opportunity cuz I'm chasing around this grabby little person who's mission in life is to seek out trouble. Maybe I use him as an excuse? I am definitely guilty of collapsing exausted and spending my cleaning time relaxing! At any rate I would love to have a better heart attitude when it comes to my home. I would love for it to be cleaner and more organized. It would make me feel less stressed and maybe more relaxed when I have time to relax!
I feel like God kept putting this book in my face for a reason so I woke up this morning with a niggling little nudge nudge in my mind that I should jump ship and do this challenge. What do I have to lose? The book costs $5 on my(new amazing hopefully life-changing) kindle which is a small price to pay for a clean house and a God centered attitude toward keeping my home.
I hope to be faithful about blogging thru the next 30+ days. I don't have to every day just once a week. More than a committment to blog tho I hope I can be faithful about doing each task each day the one for my heart and the one for my home... Help me friends hold me accountable and ask me how its going! I may have no idea what I'm in for!

Here's how it works:
1. Read the chapters each day that week. Highlight, take notes, do what you have to do to engage the material. Don’t just read it. Really allow it to change you. Journal, pray, look up scriptures.
2. Write a post (or more, if you like) sharing your most challenging chapter for that week and give us a personal glimpse as to why you struggle in this area. Don’t worry! We all have an area of struggle, so we will all be sharing! Share what you need that could help you in that area. I will be posting a struggle, but also some extra solutions to accompany what Sarah Mae has offered. If you feel compelled, why not also share something that comes easily for you? Perhaps you could offer tips to others who may be struggling?
3. Use the button in your post so that others can find their way back in case they would like to join us. The more the merrier! I have changed the code so it brings you to the list of “31 Days to Clean” posts. You can find the button in my sidebar.
4.Link up your post(s) on Friday, beginning May 6th . It doesn’t matter what day you choose to write your post, you can still link it up on Friday.

My buggy-boo Jeriah-roo

Standing is your new favorite past time. You're in such a hurry to be a big kid...Why the rush little boy. I think you're just like your momma was you wanna be an adult you wanna be a big kid. I want you to stay tiny forever to stay snuggly forever! You started crawling 3 good little buttwiggling crawls on Jan 15. I watched you from the bathroom and as soon as you crawled I cried. Now you crawl everywhere! You still seem too small for that but the very fact that you're doing it must mean you're bigger than I want you to be! We still need to have that conversation about how you're not allowed to wean until you're like 5! You're always on the move since you could rollover you wanted to move to knock down walls and blaze new trails. You're a very determined young man. I hope you keep that determination your whole life Jeriah-roo! I don't think its possible to say what a joy you are to me... Even tho I feel like i'm constantly chasing you around and sweeping things out of your mouth.

You're semi interested in food but it apparently has nothing on the invisible bits and pieces you find on the floor. I found a "made in china" sticker in your diaper the other day and I know you weren't made in china and neither were your diapers! You seem to love veggies! You adore green beans and broccoli! You also love banana but your favorite thing is still Mommy milk! You did really like spaghetti tho!

You zoom all over the house if not on your hands and knees in the walker we got from Daddy's co-worker. You're definitely Mommy's shadow I knew you would be so attatched to me you are little boy and even tho sometimes I just want some space for myself a quick snuggle and sniff of your sweet baby head and its ok!

You love to watch me cook and be in the kitchen with me which is kind of a joy to share with you even tho you have no idea what I'm doing. I feel like I'm sharing something really special with you in the kitchen! I do wish tho that you would keep your little fingers away from the trashcan!

We think you're saying Daddy it sounds kind of like YeeYee it makes me happy that you said Daddy first! You've been Mommy's boy so long its good for him to HEAR you love him so much to name him first! You two sure have a lot of fun together! Giggling and finding buggy meat to tickle. You and Daddy also have a lot of conversations in Wookie.

You're a long and lean little man about 29inches tall and 18lbs. You're a squirmy wormy little bug. I love in the middle of the night when you're snuggled against me to just look at your sweet face. 9 and a half months and I still can't believe you're mine. I still can't believe God trusted me with you!

Goble Christmas Greetings

Dearest Family and Friends,

What an exciting year it has been for us! The year started off with much excitement and the end of Deaira's pregnancy. Overall Deaira had an easy and uncomfortable pregnancy. We spent the early part of the year anticipating and preparing for the birth of our baby Boy.

Jeriah Daniel Goble was born on April 18, 2010. He was a skinny little peanut who immediately stole our hearts as all babies do! We adjusted to the roles of Mommy and Daddy pretty easily, then we adjusted to being married to a Mommy and a Daddy that was a little more challenging. Today Jeriah is 8 months old and we can't believe it! He's HUGE! Everyone tells you how fast kids grow but you don't believe it til you witness it with your own eyes. Jeriah has decided rolling around the living room is more effective than crawling(for now). He loves to laugh and feed himself bananas. He's just started sitting up and using us as jungle gyms. We marvel on a regular basis at how much we love this little man God blessed us with.

Deaira quit her job when Jeriah was born. We couldn't bear the idea of anyone taking care of our sweet boy other than his Mommy. Deaira feels called to stay at home and raise our children. Its been a challenge but we know that God provides and He has proved it to us over and over and over again. Deaira has had opportunity to make many new wonderful friends in Mommy groups. In September she took a class in Lactation and Breastfeeding education and is anxious to pursue that area of interest more. For now she does some work with a new global movement called "Eats on Feets" which is a network that assists women with sharing breast milk.

Steve continues to work at Charter Cable and though his work is often stressful and frustrating he perseveres to provide for our family. He loves playing with Jeriah and making funny voices. Steve also continues to enjoy video games in his spare time. Steve is a wonderful husband and father who selflessly provides and protects our family.

We have no idea what the Lord has in store for us in 2011 but we trust that His plan is perfect and not ours. We do hope to move into a larger home so Jeriah has room to play and grow. We pray that God will provide us with a work opportunity for Deaira that will still allow her to be with Jeriah at home. God has blessed us so so mightily in every way and we are humbled by his mercy, grace and provision in our lives. We are not worthy of the gift given to us in a manger and then nailed to the cross to pay for our sins!

We wish all of you a very Merry Christmas filled with all the joy the season holds and We wish you a blessed New Year!

Much Love,

Steve, Deaira and Jeriah

Ode to a Kitchen-aid

O Kitchen-aid O Kitchen-aid how lovely are your baked goods.
So sweet and savory every one I'll eat them all to the last crumb.
O Kitchen-aid, O Kitchen-aid how lovely are your baked goods.

O Kitchen-aid O Kitchen-aid How lovely are your pastries.
So light and airy sweet and fresh it all turns out the very best!
O Kitchen-aid O Kitchen-aid How lovey are your pastries!

O Kitchen-aid O Kitchen-aid you've done so many good things...
Cakes and breads and cookies too... Frostings, pretzels to name a few...
O Kitchen-aid O Kitchen-aid you've done so many good things...


O Kitchen-aid O Kitchen-aid you really are the greatest
The time has come for us to part & I'll miss you with all my heart
O Kitchen-aid O Kitchen-aid you really are the greatest!

O Kitchen-aid O Kitchen-aid you don't know how I'll miss you...
Someday I'll have my very own, and none will take you from my home.
O Kitchen-aid O Kitchen-aid you don't know how I'll miss you...

Dear Royce,
Thanks for the loan *sniffle*
I was good to her. She was good to me, bad to my waistline.
Love, Dea
P.S. Steve is now convinced buying me a Kitchen-aid will be the best gift he ever bought himself. Thank you! :)

Reflections....

Oh sweet little Joy of mine! It makes me sad to think almost 5 months of your life have passed and I have hardly recorded a thing but now when I sit down to do so all I can come up with are brief descriptions and random thoughts...

-The first month of your life.... you slept and ate pretty standard baby behavior. I adored you and loved feeling your tiny snuggly body against me. - The second month of your life you slept and ate and smiled... I had to remind myself you were supposed to get bigger that no matter how badly I wished you could be tiny and snuggly forever you would grow and be a greater joy to me for it.
-The third month of your life you woke up a little more you realized there were lights and colors and sounds and you wanted to see all of it! I called this the age of awareness...We learned to play!
- The fourth month of your life... you stopped sleeping and you started teething. 2 weeks without a REAL nap unless you were cuddled up with me... I didn't mind that but I sure missed getting things done. You laughed for the first time and I cried!
-Your nicknames are Bug, Bug-a-roo, Dude-a-roo, Jeriah-roo and Buggy


-I love reading to you, I never expected I would... I told myself "its important that you read to him" and dreaded the actual task... I was sooo thrilled to find out I enjoyed it!

-You love to play games and when Mommy sings her Jeriah songs to you!

-In the last month you've discovered what a fun guy Daddy is and he cracks you up! He introduced you to your orange Dr Seuss friend Mr. Melvin.

-You're becoming quite the little Chatterbox. Babbling on about so many little things. You have to put your 2 cents in especially when we go to Mommy's group! I think you're telling all the other babies how good life is!

-You're on the super speedway to milestone land... already rolling over tummy to back and you're so so close to going back to tummy! You're a great supported sitter and you LOVE to stand! You have a ton of strength in your legs and love to jump in the jumperoo. You'll fuss to get out but you keep jumping its the oddest thing... Like you're trying to suck every second of fun out of it.
Please don't grow too fast Bug! Every day you seem bigger especially your baby Flintstone feet! I'm so excited for the future to see you walk and talk to feed you real food! I do wish sometimes tho that I could stunt your growth for another year or so and just enjoy who you are right now today. I don't think its possible that I can ever remember all of the many many things that make up the wonderful boy you are!

30

I never really remember my birthdays very well. It seems sad to not remember a birthday especially a BIG birthday like your *GULP* 30th!

So for posterity sake here is a (hopefully brief) account of my interesting, rough , pretty stressful 30th birthday. Ok that might be a slight exaggeration but it wasn't really a "Happy" birthday tho it's had good memorable moments.

Birthday regret #1: Steve took me for sushi on Monday. It had been a year since I had sushi. It was fun and I did get to show Jeriah sushi and describe the joy of raw tuna on rice. Monday night I was kicking myself for wanting sushi for spending that $50 we'd carefully saved on something that I was then wishing I could throw up and put an end to my misery. I dunno if the sushi was bad i dunno if my post pregnant body can't eat sushi but i thought about going to the hospital i felt so bad and the only thing that stopped me was i didn't think i could drag myself off the bed to get dressed and wake my baby up and get him ready to go with me. Thankfully i made it through the night and my mom (ever my hero) came over Tuesday to help me with my baby.

Birthday regret#2: This is more Jeriah's regret than mine... Jeriah regrets Mommy's sushi dinner as well and he spent Tuesday night and all day Wednesday making sure Mommy knew it. My sweet happy baby who coos and squeals and smiles and flirts spent most of the day looking at me with a boo boo lip or screaming. I tried everything i could to make that boo boo lip go away. Even more sad is he'll probably spend tomorrow at it too. Baby Mylicon drops do work.... sometimes. Jeriah wishes Mommy had wanted pizza or steak for her dinner out with Daddy.

Birthday Lesson #1: No more sushi until I'm only eating for me and since I believe in extended breastfeeding this could be quite sometime but after Monday night... I don't think I'll mind.

Birthday THANKS #1: Charel Thank you for scooping up your nephew and making him eat his toes, folding him in half and riding the bicycle! You helped him and me. Thanks for new clothes to sissy I need them! :)

Memorable Birthday Moment #1: Jeriah did have about an hour of calm where I wrapped him in the Moby wrap strapped him to my chest and we baked my birthday cake together. It was the sweetest thing to me. I wish someone could've taken a picture of us, although if someone else had been here they probably would've been holding my boy. Teaching my babies to cook and to enjoy it to love and appreciate food is so important to me. Baking my birthday cake with my sweetest boy strapped to my chest was priceless and perfect! I hope I can do it every year!

Birthday THANKS #2: I'm very thankful my family came over. I was so grateful to see someone else by the time my mom and Steve got there I cried! My Mommy bought me some new (very needed) nursing clothes, mixing bowls and replaced my old rolling pin (a bottle of wine) with a brand new REAL rolling pin. We ate delicious red velvet cake too!

Memorable Birthday Moment #2: After Charel worked her tummy magic on my baby I gave him a bath and for the first time all day I got to see my sweet little boy. He smiled and he played. He splashed and he was himself. Jeriah loves bath time. He loves being in the water so much I'm afraid if I put him in a real swimming pool he'd swim away from me. He likes water just like his momma. After bath time we did our bedtime routine we snuggled and nursed and said prayers.

Birthday wish #1: All day long I wished for a cool swimming pool. I wanted to feel the cool water envelope me and watch the water sparkle blue above my head... *sigh*

Birthday THANKS #3: a sweet sleeping baby!

Birthday Lesson #2: My husband wants to buy me a KITCHEN-AID!!! HOLY MOLY!! Sooo excited what a wonderful husband I have! When he told me his plan he added on. If i buy this it will be your birthday/Christmas/Anniversary present etc... (like I'd care I'd have a freaking kitchenaid!!!) I was on cloud 9! Then he told me he could buy me all the extra accessories for my kitchen aid until I was 40. I paused there aren't THAT many accessories. Then... I realized I'm 30 and 40 is only 10 years away and there are THAT many accessories. Then I felt old.

Birthday Thanks #4: My husband helped me not feel too old by reminding me what its like to makeout like a teenager :)

At the end of the day I still wish for a swimming pool but not to escape more to refresh and renew to rinse away and relax after the day... I did find an alternative however in another piece of cake and a glass of my OLD rolling pin.

Hooray for Boobies!

Take that Mr Pediatrician! I haven't told many people this but at Jeriah's 2 week well baby check up I was advised by the pediatrician that he was underweight and it was suggested that I supplement with Formula. Jeriah weighed 1/2 an ounce less than the dr would have liked him to! I politely smiled and nodded knowing full well I wasn't going to give my baby a drop of it unless it became absolutely necessary. EVERYTHING I had observed from my baby showed me he was getting enough to eat. Sometimes it seemed like he could eat forever and he was going thru plenty of diapers! I knew a half an ounce could easily be made up for its 2 tablespoons for pete's sake. Jeriah was only 2 weeks old my Milk had only been in for a few days and I had a clogged milk duct to contend with I decided to keep doing what I was doing and wait and see how he grew I kept reading and researching and found some evidence and studies to support why Jeriah weighed a little less than he should and I just kept right on doing what I was doing feeding him whenever he wanted as long as he wanted. I even failed to tell my husband about the dr's advice. (he forgave me and understood why i'd held back!) I was so thrilled today when at 2 months old he weighed 10lbs 14 oz!!!

Jeriah is a wonderful little eater and has been since he was born and I love feeding him! I love snuggling him and I love the way he's so eager to eat! He flirts with me when I feed him he makes me laugh and nothing is better than a big baby smile when obstructed by a nipple and a dribble of milk on the chin! I'm so thankful that this time Mommy knew best and that he GREW and is of average height and weight! If the Dr had used the F word again at this appointment I was gonna have to find a new pediatrician! :)

God's creation of a Mommy is a perfect complete one that does miraculous things!

Summer Salads... What Goble's Gobble!

Steve and I eat salad for dinner at least once a week and I don't mean a small salad next to our main dish. We eat SALAD for dinner. Big lucious fancy dinner salads like you buy at restaurants. We love salad around here and have found its pretty easy to come up with different delicious variations. Lettuce is kind of a blank canvas afterall.

Here are some of our favorite variations... All of them start with a big pile of your favorite lettuce, some kind of protein and lots of other exciting toppings you love! Combined together you get a big bowl full of exciting texture flavor and fun!

Taco Salad:

Make seasoned ground beef like you would for tacos.

Add tortilla chips, olives, chopped tomatoes, canned kidney,black or pinto beans, chopped cilanto, green onion, grated cheese, you could even SPICE it up with some jalapeno slices.

Dress with salsa, sour cream, guacamole... whatever you like we like 1000 island.

Chinese Chicken Salad: (pictured)

Grilled or shredded Chicken

Add Cucumber, mandarin oranges, thinly sliced red onion(I use my potato peeler)or chopped green onion, broccoli florets, beans sprouts, bell pepper, shredded carrots, chow mein noodles and almond slivers

Dress with a bottled toasted sesame salad dressing you like.

Italian Steak salad:

I buy a small inexpensive steak marinate it in some balsamic viniagrette and grill it on my counter top grill. Once cooked I slice it thin and toss it in the salad

Add cherry tomato, sliced cucumer, red onion, fresh basil and chunks of fresh mozzarella.

Dress with an Italian dressing or a nice viniagrette.

Greek Salad:

Start with cooked Chicken or Steak:

Add greek olives, red pepper, cucumber, tomato, pepperoncinis, red onion and the all important feta cheese(if you're me)

Dress with a Greek viniagrette.

Chef Salad:

Your favorite lunch meat ham, turkey, salami etc cut in strips and some of your favorite cheese.

Add tomato, black olives, cucumber, bell pepper, broccoli and/or cauliflower, any fresh veggie that you love! Don't forget some chopped hard boiled egg!

Dress with your favorite dressing!

Summer is here and for me that means I wanna eat light and fresh food. Salad always fits the bill. These are light fresh and exciting but still filling and satisfying.

Mommy Lessons... Selfishness

I don't think anything in life (even marriage) has shown me quite so vividly how selfish I am as this little person that now consumes my days, my nights and my heart. It happens every night around 3-4am Jeriah wakes up and I dutifully sit up grab him from his bassinet and soothe and satiate all of Jeriah's little needs... all the while counting the seconds through blurry eyes struggling to stay awake watching the silly TV I never wanted to put in our bedroom and now CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT cuz it keeps me awake for the 1 or 2 or 3 hours it takes me to feed my little bug and get him back to sleep! Every night he wakes up and I pick him up and love him I feed him and kiss and snuggle him its really the sweetest thing being his mommy and yet even tho I know "the formula" required to put him back to sleep I inevitably ignore a step in my selfish hurry to go back to sleep. Jeriah likes to eat from both sides... twice and each side can take him about 20-30 min ( That kid loves to eat!) he must have a clean diaper and he must be swaddled! Sometimes tho I seem to think that if he conks out after eating that I can just put him back in his bassinet... and I can but it will only last about 15 min and then I have to wake up and do whatever it is I didn't do in my selfish hurry to get back to sleep! When i obey the formula i can usually be back to sleep in about an hour! :)

Despite my selfishness however the sweet little bug decided to try sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old :) 7 whole hours. It's too bad I woke up 3 times to make sure he was ok and didn't get 7 uninterrupted hours of sleep myself. I'm absolutely in love with my fancy bassinet that vibrates, has a mobile, music and a night light! He's a happy baby in the morning when he wakes up and he can and will coo peacefully in his bassinet as long as the mobile is running. I can usually squeak out another hour of sleep doing this interrupted only by having to restart the mobile :)

He's a pretty chill little dude this bug of mine!

Jeriah Arrives!

About a year ago Steve and I decided to trust the Lord and see what would happen in terms of starting a family. I was scared I was so scared. I cried and came up with ridiculous ideas and plans to make it fit into my idea of ideal and I felt defeated because I didn't see how it could ever be what I'd always imagined. How could we even consider starting a family right now? Well we could of course but we weren't in any kind of place for it to be what I'd hoped it would be. We lived in this tiny (albeit wonderful) 1 bedroom apartment and we still need 2 incomes and on and on. I prayed and I cried and Steve hugged me and reassured me ( I love him have I said that?) God showed me how He had provided for other friends how He'd given them houses and the ability to stay home with their babies. He also gave me a cryptic answer to my questions and fears...

"The Lord will provide"

Thus far in all of my wondering, praying, worrying and trusting that is the only answer I've been given. Even now one year later with a life much changed and still filled with uncertainties...

"Yet one thing secures us whatever betide, The promise assures us the Lord will provide"

This is the birth story of Jeriah Daniel Goble...
Saturday April 17th was a busy fun filled day. I'd been showered with love by my sweet church ladies. I had an adorable froggy cloth diaper cake, many other wonderful gifts and delicious treats. I had a bag full of tie dyed onesies to rinse out and a bed piled high with the outpouring of love. My mom and I set to work and put it all away and got everything organized and ready for baby to come. We went out for dinner at Sizzler and I loaded up on salad with veggies and fruit and a small steak. (I'm so glad I ate a big filling dinner it would be my last meal for about 24 hours) We came home and relaxed. We watched some TV and did our usual thing.
We went to bed around 11:30. I couldn't sleep so I stayed up for another hour watching TV. I had been asleep for about an hour felt a little gush so I woke up, went to the bathroom, changed my pjs and went back to bed thinking the boy was just rocking out on my bladder but, I kept feeling those small gushes. My brain started working and I started wondering so I called the doctor. My doctor was still on vacation I spoke to his partner on call and explained everything to her. She said she couldn't tell me if my water had broke over the phone and that we'd have to come in to be checked. I started getting stuff together. I put on real clothes and started getting last minute things together and let Steve keep sleeping. Eventually having the light on and my activity woke Steve up and I told him what was going on we finished getting stuff together. It was about 1:20 Sunday morning I wasn't really feeling anything I thought maybe I might be having small little contractions but it certainly wasn't anywhere near horrible. We climbed in our van and headed for the hospital.
We got to the hospital and when I got out of the car I KNEW my water had broken. I walked into the ER said "I think I'm having a baby today" and was directed upstairs to the Labor and Delivery check in which was halfway thru the hospital and up the elevator to the 2nd floor. I made Steve walk behind me. (In retrospect I'm a little surprised they didn't offer me a wheelchair or any kind of assistance. I didn't NEED it but still) We got upstairs checked in and shown to a room a nurse came in we explained everything and donned the highly fashionable hospital gown, peed in a cup and all the other lovely trappings. Steve and I stopped to pray trusting that God would hold us thru the night and be with us come what may. I climbed into bed and they started checking me hooked me up to machines I was pretty sure at this point I was contracting but not badly just little twinges. Steve and I started debating when we should call everyone. It took the hospital 2 hours to confirm anything. It was confirmed my water had broken that I was fully effaced and only 1 cm dilated. I was hooked up to the fetal monitors etc but my contractions weren't really strong enough to register so they started me on pitocin to get my contractions going. I asked if this was necessary cuz I'd read horror stories about hard labor and nightmarish deliveries because the pitocin works too well. I was assured it was only to establish a contraction pattern and make them consistent.. I'm thankful they didn't try to rush it they kept it on low and didn't turn it up. After awhile I was having contractions every 4 min and that were a min long.
By 8am I was dilated to 4cm just trooping along I could breathe thru every contraction and was talking laughing smiling etc. The nurse and Dr. on call kept telling me they needed to make me more uncomfortable that I was still smiling. In the same breath they told me how well I was doing. I think this is probably when I start hearing another mommy on the floor screaming cursing crying etc... SCARY!!! That was intimidating to me. I felt so bad cuz all I could think was oh I hope I'm not like that! Then I felt bad knowing it very well could be me in a few hours and I wouldn't care who heard me! I prayed for her. I was probably almost as relieved as she was when I finally heard her baby cry. I did this for many other mommies struggling to bring babies into the world that morning. When I had to pause and get thru my own contractions. I was singing "Be Thou My Vision" and "Jesus I am Resting Resting" I know there were other songs on my heart that day I know God supplied the words and focus for me every minute but these 2 stick out. I also know my constant answer was drumming in my mind "This answers all questions the Lord will provide."
By about noon my family had arrived and they were keeping Steve sane We'd also been in touch with Steve's family in Michigan and I took great comfort knowing my church family had been told and were praying for us too . I got to talk to my Auntie and she prayed with me. I was 6-8cm dilated and I was starting to feel the need to push. They told me to fight it and that was the hardest thing at that point!!! I knew I was tired I hadn't slept all night and I knew the BIG SHOW was still ahead of me I asked for some IV drugs so I could relax a little and rest up. That took my mind off the need to push and let me half sleep between contractions which I was still managing pretty well just breathing and trusting the Lord. Each time I'd have a contraction I'd blow out a breath slowly and count each breath up to 10 I knew it would peak around 6 or 7 and then it would go away sometimes I had to puff out an 11 or 12 but it worked for me.
I don't remember feeling the drugs take effect or any effect they had. Finally I was fully dilated except for a little bit and the Dr. was across town but I needed to push badly. I was starting to lose my cool focus. We started pushing my nurse was just trying to bring him down and maybe get him crowning The Dr was on her way and would be there in 10-15 min. I vaguely remember thinking that this was really going to take long enough for the Dr to drive from the other hospital. I wasn't going anywhere though and really had no idea what to expect I just knew that BIG SHOW had begun. I had Steve and my Sissy. I made sure she had the camera ready to go.
My labor and delivery nurse was so wonderful and encouraging the whole time. She was sweet and fun and a blessing. I enjoyed her very much. We laughed and smiled together even fully dilated and ready to push I was smiling. There was another Dr. on standby but no one thought I was quite there yet. We did some controlled slow pushing or just like hoo hoo hoo breathing and then she let me really bear down and push once. We did a slow controlled push and at the very tail end of the contraction my nurse told me to stop but Jeriah wasn't stopping and I couldn't.
Suddenly I just felt a huge burst and gush and heard a tiny little cry and I realized it was over. In that minute I also remember thinking to myself "THATS IT I could totally do that again!" I also knew instinctively there was no way he was 9 or 10 lbs! My nurse said he shot out like a rocket. There was no delivery of head then shoulders one minute there was pushing and the next second there was my baby. Pushing was the hardest part by far only because I felt like I had no control I think at that point it was truly just my body doing what God had made it to do. Steve kept me focused when I couldn't think or control my breathing or actions he encouraged me. He brought my focus back to the work before me even when I didn't think I could do it anymore. The BIG SHOW only lasted maybe 15 min but when I needed him he was there! He was my husband and no one else but him could've kept me going. I was probably in active hard labor for 30 min tops to my recollection.
My mom and Steve ran into my nurse the next day I guess I was the talk of labor and delivery for 2 days because I had been so strong and so calm the entire time. When I finally did see my Dr. he told me I'd had such an easy time I could probably have 10 kids. I don't remember seeing Jeriah's face for the first time or it even really sinking in at that point it all kind of went fuzzy maybe I was finally feeling the drugs! I think I remember just saying "I'm your mommy" and struggling to introduce him to his first meal. (Thankfully he got the hang on that the next day) I remember my family swarming around taking pictures. I remember introducing Izaiah to Jeriah singing the little song I sang to Izaiah... "Hi Jeriah this is Izaiah" I remember Izaiah smiling and reaching out to touch his cousin. I remember the way my Dad took Jeriah in his arms and held him close to his face and quietly whispered to him! I remember my family's joy! I remember the Dr. fixing the tear Jeriah made in his rush to get out. I remember the taste of cold sweet REAL sugar Vanilla pudding! :)

Obviously in the 2 weeks since Jeriah's arrival we've learned much and we've fallen in love with our son. I don't think its possible to fully comprehend how much our parents love us until we get to experience that love ourselves. How much greater still is Our Father's love for us! Jeriah's arrival was perfectly overseen by my Father in Heaven! The timing the provision the strength! As Steve and I look back we see God's hand on everything. We continue to rest in Him and trust him. Our jobs may not be as secure as we'd like, We'd like it if I could quit my job and work from home to be with Jeriah. We're in a REAL place of submission and reliance on God's provision. We have no plans nothing set up and a date to return to work looming on the horizon and no idea what to do with our Bug. When I think about the weeks ahead my mind spins and I replay those words that have echoed in my head and in my heart for the last year... "Yet one thing secures us whatever betide, The promise assures us the Lord will provide" I have no idea what the Lord's provision will be it could be the opposite of what I want but I know as with all things it will be what is best and it will amaze us.

Nesting...

I was dearly hoping that my nesting instincts would kick in and I'd clean my house. I would deep clean my house from top to bottom. I had hoped to rearrange my linen closet, chase the dust bunnies out from under my bed, scrub the walls of my bathroom, and finish my in laws Christmas present. Yep I had plans. Sadly when the instinct came it was in a different direction. I realized upon packing my hospital bag I had nothing to put on my baby's head or hands or feet. Poor Jeriah couldn't be cold or naked Mommy had to fix it with a Ducky Hat and yellow booties, a Froggy hat and mittens with matching booties and sweet baby blue worms in his hat, hands and feet. When my mom saw the ducky hat she melted into a pool of grandma hormones and giggles. So Jeriah I'm sorry that I don't have your blankie made yet and I'm sorry that you're coming home to a house with dust bunnies under the bed. You'll have a warm head warm hands and warm feet and you'll be the cutest newborn baby in the nursery(you would be even without the hats by the way)You have everything else you need for now or you will. You'll be loved you are already but I've loved you since I first understood I could grow up and be your mommy! You'll be coming soon enough and I'm scared and I ask myself daily how this is gonna work. I pray and seek answers and have faith that God is in control of your arrival the same way he's controlled everything else in our life in fantastic unimaginable ways so we're just gonna see.... We'll let you crash into our life like a wave upon the sand and see what treasures you uncover! :)

Jeriah's Diet....

This looks like my lunch... :) Oh wait I got to eat much more that that! SO after a week or so of floundering and wondering what to eat what not to eat and pestering poor Tiffany with questions I took a class... a Gestational diabetes class where I was schooled in all things related to this "hopefully temporary" lifestyle change that will keep my baby from being a 10lb chunk o monkey! :) My biggest questions were what can I eat what should I eat? I was told and it hasn't been to hard its kind of plug and play. I get to choose what I eat within reason and I'm just limited to portion size and the amount of carbohydrates I can eat at any given meal, another shock... no sugar no dessert... BOO...

A few weeks in and I can pretty much wing it I no longer have to plan out every meal and every crumb I'm going to put in my mouth I've found some give and take and I've even managed to eat out a couple times. It breaks down into 3 meals and 3 snacks and at each meal/snack I'm given a formula of what I need to eat.
Breakfast: 1 carb 2 protein 1 fat which means I can eat 1 piece of toast with butter and 2 eggs.
Morning Snack: 1 carb 2 protein I usually eat about 5 triskets and 2 servings of cheese like string cheese and a babybel (Oh how I love babybels!!!)
Lunch: 3 carb 1 fruit 1 veg 4 protein 1 fat I'll have a sandwich 2 slices of bread with mayo and mustard 27 cheezits 3 1 oz slices of ham and a 1 oz slice of cheese, I'll have 12-15 grapes, 1 c raw veggies like carrots, cheery tomatoes and celery. (its a lot to eat in 30 min)
Afternoon Snack: 2 carb, fruit or milk and 2 protein for me this is usually 1 cup of yogurt, 4 oz sliced apples with 2 Tbsp of peanut butter.
Dinner: 3 carbs 1 fruit 1 veggie 4 protein 1 fat I live for dinner it feels like my first REAL meal all day sometimes The best dinner I've made on record so far was 2/3 c. cooked penne pasta 1/3 cup of tomato sauce a huge pile of sauteed peppers, mushrooms, yellow squash and zucchini tossed together with an ounce of mozzarella cheese and 3 oz of yummy Italian sausage. Add a banana and Wow that was a lot of really delicious food!
Bedtime Snack: 1 starch or fruit, 1 milk 1 protein is 3 squares of graham crackers spread with peanut butter and 8oz of 2% milk.

Other observations that have come with my new diet...

-How dumb is it that when you go to eat at a restaurant and ask for a nutrition guide they say "Its all available online" as if that helps me right now when I'm hungry and wondering what I can eat. Thankfully each time we've gone out to eat it was planned and I had the sense to look at the website before going but sometimes you wanna check your facts before you make that final selection ya know. I think this is a ploy by these restaurant companies to force us to just order something whether its good for us or not. Its sad really.

-The choices of sugar free beverages in most places is just pathetic you have 8 choices of sugar laden beverages and then Diet Coke the freckled faced red-headed step child. Now its all fine and well if you drink Coke or like coke but um yes I'm also pregnant therefore trying to avoid caffeine.. oh look they have iced tea well that's good! I'd rather drink tea than coke but its raspberry iced tea with REAL sugar! Thanks so much and wouldn't you know all those Crystal light packets I put in my purse are gone now... I have determined however that Diet Coke is more palatable when drowned with lots of lemon juice! LOTS of lemon juice. I'm also thankful I'm in the habit of carrying around a water bottle.

-If possible I feel like my life is even more food centric than ever. If I'm not hungry for my next meal, I'm planning my next meal or preparing my next meal. I'm kind of starting to think my life is already on a 3 hour cycle. Sometimes I get so frustrated that i have to eat again and If i skip a meal bad things happen to my blood sugar so that's not really an option.

-What does a Foodie Girl do when she can no longer eat whatever her heart desires??? Well I haven't cried yet and I haven't even cheated really and I'm not hungry overall. I've adapted I've eaten well and that's the most important thing I guess is that I'm still satisfied. I've also got a stack of recipes to try when i can eat normally once again.

- I would just like to say for the present time I'm very angry at Starbucks for coming out with a Dark Chocolate Cherry Mocha when I can't have sugar or caffeine! Its like sucking chocolate covered cherries thru a straw! (a sip isn't cheating is it?)

-I would love to write a scathing letter to the advertising company that came up with Baskin Robbins new commercial about Ice cream and Cake and Cake you know the one... I walk around all day singing "Ice cream and cake and cake" OH TORTURE OF TORTURES!!! CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT!!!

- A recent past time Steve and I have adopted is day dreaming about what we'll eat after Jeriah comes... Sushi is at the top of my list and my husband has strict instructions that upon the successful birth of our son and reassurance that all is well he is to go downstairs at the hospital and procure one Quad Venti Iced Extra Caramel Machiato POST HASTE!! (Your husband may be the first person at church to know we've had a baby Jess )

-I miss drinking huge glasses of cold milk, I miss cheerios and all manner of cereal. I can't wait to taste maple syrup and honey again and banish the horrid splenda from my house! I can't wait til I no longer have to think about which protein I'm going to eat. I am thankful I haven't tired of eating peanut butter and cheese too!

-I am thankful EVERY single day that there is not a vegetable I won't eat! I've never eaten so many and its been kind of fun to just go to town. I can eat almost endless amounts of a lot of my favorite veggies! This makes for filling dinners, generous salads and emergency snacks! I hope I can somehow teach Jeriah to love his veggies the way his Mama does! I've even asked my parents how they managed to make me the least picky eater in the family. They just said they always enthusiastically encouraged us to try. I always knew if my Dad said try this it was GOOD STUFF! :)

-New Recipes I've created: BBQ Shrimp Skewers, Beefy Mushroom Sauce with noodles, Italian Sausage and Veggie Pasta Bake.

I haven't gained any weight I don't think I've even gained 10lbs in my whole pregnancy yet. I am hopeful Jeriah has slowed down and won't reach massive proportions. We're praying he can arrive safely, naturally and early! :)

To Wrap my Baby Bunting in...part 3

So I have the yarn and I'm so in love with the colors and just thinking about tucking it around my boy while he sleeps or watching him drag it around the house with his thumb in his mouth all doe eyed has me giddy and feeling all squishy! So many silly ideas that may never come to pass because there's no guarantees that mommy's blankie will be HIS favorite blankie (but I REALLY hope it is). I've picked 4 patterns I like them all not equally per se but I could envision his blanket in any of these configurations with the colors I bought. I have my favorites and I have my fears about each one. What do you think do you have a favorite which do you think would be the cutest?

1. I like this blanket because it's just random big blocks and chunks of color with no rhyme, reason or explanation. If I got bored with one color I could easily turn it around change color and make another randomly shaped block on any side of it. The downside to this would be it would pretty much have to be a blanket that was the same stitch over and over and over with no variation. That can get mighty monotonous my friends!
2. I like this one too I like the stripes and I like that they're different widths! The thinner stripes make kind of a TTTTT pattern around the solid thinnest stripe and the thickest stripes have what is called a spider in them. It creates some visual interest in the blanket and some variety for the person making it! The holes make it a little lighter and work up a little quicker too :)

3. How adorable are the little fishies! A little school of nestled fish swimming to and fro! I love and hate this blanket! I love the fish they're so sweet and I can imagine them in the colors I picked! This is my favorite and part of me really hopes it isn't yours! Why? What could possibly dissuade me from making this adorable school of fish? Well all those little fish are individually crocheted which is advantageous. I could make them very quickly on the fly and amass my little pond. I can also control the size by controlling the number of fish! The problem is the fish must be stitched together and for me that gets insanely boring. How boring you may ask? I started a blanket for my in-laws for Christmas last July its about 81 little squares that had to be stitched into one big square. I dutifully crocheted all 81 squares and stitched them up into 9 rows of 9 strips and then... Let's just say I still haven't sent my in-laws their Christmas present. (I do feel really bad about this by the way but in my defense life surrounding Christmas was a chaotic time I don't care to remember) So I'm fearful I'll have piles and stacks of cute little fish waiting to be a blanket never realizing their full cuddly potential. (*Mental note* When your nesting instinct kicks in finish Mom and Dad's Christmas present so you can give to Mom when she comes to visit)

4. This is kind of a neat like a little kaleidoscope and with the different colors I think it could look pretty cool with all the colors kind of swirled together. This would work up pretty quickly too most squares do and while I'm not entirely sure how to achieve the swirl look I think it'd just be a simple matter of moving the corner 1 stitch to the left while working in the round (sorry crochet speak) which could keep it somewhat entertaining along with changing colors.

I'm fairly certain I will not have this blanket finished before my boy is here I am hoping to finish someone else's blanket before her baby is here too. It's entirely possible at the rate I'm going that I won't have even started Jeriah's blankie before he's here. I'm pretty sure I won't have much time after he's here but I do hope that someday I can put it together so my visions of a sleepy doe eyed toddler with dark curled hair (I'm guessing on this he could have porcelain skin and brilliant red hair) will suck his thumb and drag it around the house. Then I will tuck that little boy in my lap and read him a storybook before tucking him into bed.

Pregnancy not so much fun but the idea of being a Mommy the "magic" of being a mommy is pretty romantical this side of labor...

Grandma's Girl

I have discovered I have a hobby in common with my Grandma. Grandma used to sit in her recliner all night watching TV with Grandpa thumbing through her magazines and copying any recipe that tickled her fancy one buy one into spiral bound notebooks. Being the food lover and cook that I am and also having so many memories of helping Grandma cook and just learning vicariously by watching my grandma cook I staked my claim on those notebooks long ago! No one else wanted them or had probably even thought of them. I have hardly looked through them and sadly I haven't made a single recipe from a single one. I have looked at them enough to know that Grandma LOVED Desserts almost every single one is a dessert recipe! From those magazines and spiral notebooks we have such family loved recipes as Harvey Wallbanger Cake, Piggy Cake, and Almond Pinwheels!
Now I don't spend my nights hand copying recipes from a magazine. I'd get writer's cramp before I finished the first one. (I'm a typer don't ya know) I do spend more time than I should perusing foodie blogs and websites and if a recipe tickles my fancy I just copy/paste it right into a word document and file it away under my own handy dandy recipe folder on my desktop. I'm a little more organized than Grandma was. Every recipe is organized in one big folder with little sub folders separating main dishes from soups from breads from appetizers. My desserts folder is even separated into category Cakes, Cookies, Pies, Candy... you get the idea! I have quite a few recipes but the sub folder that is without a doubt the largest and filled with so many "I should make that someday" recipes is my dessert folder. I got my Grandma's sweet tooth and her penchant for recipe collecting!
I have never ever questioned whether I was Grandma's Girl or not. She forever reminded me I was hers. She'd hug me close and lovingly reassure me I was Grandma's girl. I guess more than anything it just nice to draw the comparison and see that a part of her is a part of me. Maybe someday in the future I'll have a grand baby who wants my dusty old hard drives full of recipes and they will be a cherished collection of memories and reminders of their own Grandma.

Afraid...

So a week and a half ago I went in for the standard gestational diabetes test. I ate breakfast as instructed by my Dr grabbed my crocheting bag and prepared to drink of bottle of sugary sweet syrup and sit for an hour for my date with a needle. I felt fine and normal the whole time and wrote it off certain if there was a problem i would've felt funny. I had questioned a few months ago if I might have it but when I researched it all of the symptoms I had that I thought might be gestational diabetes also were normal pregnancy symptoms. I wrote the test off until this week when I got a letter from my Dr that my blood glucose levels were high and he'd like for me to take the 3 hour test. I'm gonna get a lot of crocheting done that's for sure! So tomorrow I start a 3 day "diet" and on Wednesday I have another 3 hour date at the lab with a bottle of sugary syrup and apparently several encounters with a needle. (pregnancy has a way of making you not fear needles so much between blood tests and rogham shots)

I'm afraid of what it could all mean. I'm beyond thankful for my friend Tiffany! (who's been a diabetic for longer than she can remember) She lets me ask her millions of questions about blood sugar and what this could mean and what that could mean. She's making a big scary world a little more clear an d clarifying some facts for me. She's explained what my symptoms could mean and while she hasn't alleviated a single one of my fears maybe she's (depending on the test results) confirmed them. She's tried to explain why if my blood sugar is high do I have an insatiable craving for brownies, soda and syrupy sweet things. That insatiable appetite I've mentioned its still here. I have no idea how or why i can eat so much or be constantly hungry minutes after eating so much. I've been so angry at myself for being so hungry. Is it normal because I'm pregnant or is it something else?

My fears are justifiable, I knew before i got pregnant it was a possibility perhaps even more likely a possibility for me than for other people. Riding on the coat tails of my fears has been this conviction that Steve and I in general need to re think the way we eat a little bit. We don't eat poorly and I'm not one to cook from a box or a can very often but being the foodie I am I read blogs and see recipes and if one tickles my fancy generally speaking I won't think twice about jumping on board to try it no matter how horrible the ingredients ( canned biscuit dough and Mt Dew anyone? ) Maybe this is the kind of motivation I need to really weed out some of the poor choices we make and take some more control and practice more moderation. I don't know why I'm so afraid of changing my diet anyways its not like I don't like or eat GOOD food. I had a veggie sandwich on whole wheat bread yesterday and it was the most delicious thing! We had fruit salad for dessert that was the stuff of dreams. I LOVE GOOD REAL FOOD!!! I think my fears are based in what it could mean for Jeriah immediately and me long term. Oh and that other thing (ugh) having to practice self-discipline. I have no qualms about eating good food so long as I can still have the bad ones if and when I want them. :)
So here we go... and we'll see whatever it means wherever it leads whatever it brings...