Grandma's Girl

I have discovered I have a hobby in common with my Grandma. Grandma used to sit in her recliner all night watching TV with Grandpa thumbing through her magazines and copying any recipe that tickled her fancy one buy one into spiral bound notebooks. Being the food lover and cook that I am and also having so many memories of helping Grandma cook and just learning vicariously by watching my grandma cook I staked my claim on those notebooks long ago! No one else wanted them or had probably even thought of them. I have hardly looked through them and sadly I haven't made a single recipe from a single one. I have looked at them enough to know that Grandma LOVED Desserts almost every single one is a dessert recipe! From those magazines and spiral notebooks we have such family loved recipes as Harvey Wallbanger Cake, Piggy Cake, and Almond Pinwheels!
Now I don't spend my nights hand copying recipes from a magazine. I'd get writer's cramp before I finished the first one. (I'm a typer don't ya know) I do spend more time than I should perusing foodie blogs and websites and if a recipe tickles my fancy I just copy/paste it right into a word document and file it away under my own handy dandy recipe folder on my desktop. I'm a little more organized than Grandma was. Every recipe is organized in one big folder with little sub folders separating main dishes from soups from breads from appetizers. My desserts folder is even separated into category Cakes, Cookies, Pies, Candy... you get the idea! I have quite a few recipes but the sub folder that is without a doubt the largest and filled with so many "I should make that someday" recipes is my dessert folder. I got my Grandma's sweet tooth and her penchant for recipe collecting!
I have never ever questioned whether I was Grandma's Girl or not. She forever reminded me I was hers. She'd hug me close and lovingly reassure me I was Grandma's girl. I guess more than anything it just nice to draw the comparison and see that a part of her is a part of me. Maybe someday in the future I'll have a grand baby who wants my dusty old hard drives full of recipes and they will be a cherished collection of memories and reminders of their own Grandma.

Afraid...

So a week and a half ago I went in for the standard gestational diabetes test. I ate breakfast as instructed by my Dr grabbed my crocheting bag and prepared to drink of bottle of sugary sweet syrup and sit for an hour for my date with a needle. I felt fine and normal the whole time and wrote it off certain if there was a problem i would've felt funny. I had questioned a few months ago if I might have it but when I researched it all of the symptoms I had that I thought might be gestational diabetes also were normal pregnancy symptoms. I wrote the test off until this week when I got a letter from my Dr that my blood glucose levels were high and he'd like for me to take the 3 hour test. I'm gonna get a lot of crocheting done that's for sure! So tomorrow I start a 3 day "diet" and on Wednesday I have another 3 hour date at the lab with a bottle of sugary syrup and apparently several encounters with a needle. (pregnancy has a way of making you not fear needles so much between blood tests and rogham shots)

I'm afraid of what it could all mean. I'm beyond thankful for my friend Tiffany! (who's been a diabetic for longer than she can remember) She lets me ask her millions of questions about blood sugar and what this could mean and what that could mean. She's making a big scary world a little more clear an d clarifying some facts for me. She's explained what my symptoms could mean and while she hasn't alleviated a single one of my fears maybe she's (depending on the test results) confirmed them. She's tried to explain why if my blood sugar is high do I have an insatiable craving for brownies, soda and syrupy sweet things. That insatiable appetite I've mentioned its still here. I have no idea how or why i can eat so much or be constantly hungry minutes after eating so much. I've been so angry at myself for being so hungry. Is it normal because I'm pregnant or is it something else?

My fears are justifiable, I knew before i got pregnant it was a possibility perhaps even more likely a possibility for me than for other people. Riding on the coat tails of my fears has been this conviction that Steve and I in general need to re think the way we eat a little bit. We don't eat poorly and I'm not one to cook from a box or a can very often but being the foodie I am I read blogs and see recipes and if one tickles my fancy generally speaking I won't think twice about jumping on board to try it no matter how horrible the ingredients ( canned biscuit dough and Mt Dew anyone? ) Maybe this is the kind of motivation I need to really weed out some of the poor choices we make and take some more control and practice more moderation. I don't know why I'm so afraid of changing my diet anyways its not like I don't like or eat GOOD food. I had a veggie sandwich on whole wheat bread yesterday and it was the most delicious thing! We had fruit salad for dessert that was the stuff of dreams. I LOVE GOOD REAL FOOD!!! I think my fears are based in what it could mean for Jeriah immediately and me long term. Oh and that other thing (ugh) having to practice self-discipline. I have no qualms about eating good food so long as I can still have the bad ones if and when I want them. :)
So here we go... and we'll see whatever it means wherever it leads whatever it brings...

Over the Shoulder and on the go...

This is perhaps horribly vain and shallow but, I was thinking about diaper bags and how I really don't want a cutsie little boy diaper bag covered in cartoon characters or smiling cuddly farm animals... I didn't want something powder blue or with Winnie the Pooh.

If I had a nursery to decorate and a lot of money I would decorate it with a Dr. Seuss theme. In Bright orange and green and yellow... there would be thing 1 and thing 2. A fish in red and a fish in blue, and I couldn't forget Horton hears a Who.... Those bright colors and fun whimsical things just call to me and SCREAM CUTE!!! But I digress. :)

I wanted a diaper bag I wouldn't be ashamed to carry around if I wasn't pushing a stroller. I know I'll soon be taking on this new title of Mommy and its a title, an identity I'm so excited to take on its one I've waited my whole life to be called and, maybe it sounds selfish but I don't wanna lose Deaira all together either. I wanted a diaper bag that looked like a bag a grown woman would carry.

I went to Babies R Us to start my registry so my Mommy in Law in MI and other friends and family could have some idea how to spoil our little dude. I went to look at diaper bags and zapped it on sight it was sooo ME! I didn't open it to see if it had pockets I didn't even pick it up off the shelf to look at it before I zapped it. Thankfully before I left the store I returned and I picked it up off the shelf and took note that it had a few pockets and a changing pad and stuff. I went home that night so sad that it wasn't mine yet and that it might not be. I didn't even look at the price tag! I just remembered the beautiful multi colored stripes. I had a gift card why didn't I just buy it. I spent the next day or so kicking myself for not just using that gift card. Finally I figured out I would convince Steve he should come with me to Babies R Us so he could look at and have some say in what we registered for and when we did I would check the price on said diaper bag and buy it if it was within reason!

Sure enough the next week we were on our way. I had bargained a trip to Babies R Us with a pop into Best Buy which worked to my advantage you see.... while visiting the ladies room there I found a coupon laying there unattended for 20% off any item at Babies R Us that expired that very weekend! :) Into Babies R Us we went and I showed Steve all the things I had registered for and he approved especially of the large number of froggy items. Then I went to find my diaper bag. I picked it up off the shelf gushing to Steve about how gorgeous it was and looking it over now with a more discerning eye counting pockets mentally plotting out what I would put in each pocket... Then I looked at the price tag $59.99!!!! I would never ever spend that much money on a purse or a pair of shoes! I would have a hard time spending that much money on a whole outfit! I did have a gift card a $50 gift card tho and the coupon...

I'm so thankful my Dad taught me to do math in my head I'm also thankful for gift cards.. :) I quickly realize 20% off $59.99 would make the bag more affordable with my gift card and the tax well I could take care of that it would be miniscule. Sure enough with the coupon and my gift card I walked out of Babies R Us having paid $1.70 for that diaper bag of many colors and I felt like a savvy shopper and its mine and I have no fear of having to find another perfect bag... :)