Friday, January 25, 2008

thinking about food...

Heaven and Earth are full of his Glory... So is Eggplant...

You inspired me Danae... :) I've been thinking a lot lately and Steve and I have certainly been talking for months about how wonderful it will be when we're married and we can eat what we want when we want and how we want haha at first read you think we can't wait to order pizza and take out chinese or a half gallon of ice cream isn't that what most young people who are suddenly in command of their own diets want to do... haha Thats not the case for us Steve and I can't wait to eat whole healthful foods! We can wait to go buy fresh fish that I steam with fresh veggies and brown rice... We can't wait to eat quinoa and Kale... Why don't we eat this way now well... We or I am cooking for my family my mom and my sister or my Dad and my brother all would crinkle their nose in a funny weird way if i even tried to make Mahi Mahi en pappiollte with cous cous and wilted escarole. If i brought any kind of fish in the house no one would have any interest. If I made Quinoa with fresh chopped mint dried cherries and pine nuts under a balsamic glazed game hen they'd ask me where the mashed potatoes were... Organic and tofu are dirty words in my family haha I love food and I love and can't wait to have my own kitchen in which to create these delicious delicacies of taste and good nutrition... Steve and I can't wait to eat good food food that nourishes our bodies and promotes good health... If we lost weight even better! Don't get me wrong we both LOVE pizza and cheesy gooey stuff and deep fried yumminess Our New Years tradition is tempura but that aside We're really excited about having the ability to eat good healful food and not to boast but i can make all of that healthy low fat whole grain high fiber food taste like you ordered it off a restaurant menu :) Its so exciting we talk about it almost every time we're at the store how much fun it will be to make and create food thats delicious and unique and good for us... I can't wait... on a side note we went to the grocery store today and we did soooo good we got so much good stuff and didn't break the bank i'm proud of us haha

Monday, January 21, 2008

God's best for ME!!!

I prayed since I was 19 years old that someday God would bring me the man of my dreams. I wanted His perfect plan and will for my life... I knew I could never find that love, that man on my own... So I waited I trusted I cried and prayed through my loneliness. I watched all of my childhood friends get married and start families and I tickled and kissed their precious babies and I kept waiting knowing someday God would bring me His best for me... His most perfect gift... that gift I prayed for every day... that list of wishes and wants "Dear God please let my husband be intelligent" and "Dear God please let me love my husbands family like I love my own" ...

I met Steve... I wasn't looking for any kind of relationship I think I've said that before neither was he... but here we were and its amazing to look back and see how God worked how he orchestrated the whole thing... every step of the way even before we knew each other God brought Steve to me from 3000 miles away and God delivered my husband(to be) safely to my Myspace page :)

As soon as we met Steve was like a breath of fresh air... I always wanted an intelligent conversationalist someone i could grow old with and talk to about everything... haha Steve is an intelligent conversationalist and I love the way he thinks!!! NEWSFLASH tho here's the curve ball Steve is soooo funny he's so silly and cute and goofy I think we laugh together as much as we talk together... Sometimes I feel like I never really smiled until he came into my life... I'd smile but they weren't light up the night radiating with joy smiles! I never prayed for a funny goofy guy that made me laugh radiating joyful smiles sure I'd thought I'd like someone with a sense of humor that went without saying but a goofy guy that would have me in stitches and doing silly cheesy things oh no I'm much too adult for that stuff HAHA yeah right God knew better... God knew I needed to laugh and be silly and be cute...

Still... I prayed from the day I met Steve and everyday for the rest of my life I pray that God would direct our path. I pray that God would be in control. I pray that God would shape me into the wife Steve needs and that God would be shaping Steve into the husband I need. Isn't it funny how its so easy to see where others are lacking than our own failures until their so wonderfully pointed out to us by God or our partners HAHA I prayed and I waited still trusting the Lord to show me to show me he's working he's answering my prayers...

HE IS!!!! And how he is.... hahaha Ever Since I got home from Texas I see everyday how God has worked in Steve what God has taught Steve. Where He has brought Steve... My silly goofy adorable Steve the man who makes me smile so bright and wide Cheesy as pizza pie... He IS GOD's best for me and it becomes abundantly clearer with each passing day.

Steve is a man who will sacrifice for our family. Steve is a man who is going to work hard and trust the Lord every day of our life. Steve is going to stand tall and lead our family. Steve is going to be the spiritual leader of our home. Steve is the answer to all of my prayers about what I wanted in a husband AND he's everything I forgot he's the things that God knew I needed in a husband including someone to pick me up dust me off and encourage me... He's such a wonderful perfect man and even with that grounding that firmness in what is best for us his sacrificial yielding nature to take care of me to protect me to serve me and be strong for me he is and will always be the man who makes me smile right down to my toes.... :)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

to everything turn turn turn...

Its hard to look back sometimes and think... a month ago I was living in Texas... My days revolved around taking care of my sweet grandma and planning my wedding on a laptop. Life was so different in texas... Big spring Texas was a small little hole in the wall where the highest form of entertainment was a trip to walmart and fine dining was a buffet called Furr's. I was going to 4th street Baptist church and I had a little job working in the nursery. That church blessed me so much not only did my job provide me with the money i need to buy my wedding dress(which i finally decided on) The people at that church were so welcoming and dear and I think of them fondly and miss them sometimes.

It was a month ago today my Grandma went to heaven... and my life has since been a whirlwind... I packed up my life in Texas overnight and now I'm back in Reno... Steve was off for 2 weeks and life is settling back into the life it was before i went to texas. Sometimes i look back at that time that short 4 months and it seems like a dream like something that didn't happen... I've often thought of my time in Portland like that also... it was most certainly a chapter in my life... and one I will never forget. I still struggle now reality is sinking in i have a job to find i have a wedding to plan i have new trials and goals and lots of work to do.
I think about my grandma every day i miss her and sometimes its hard to believe she's gone. I've never been sad. I've always had peace about things. I will always treasure the special time i got to spend with her kissing her forehead holding her hand singing to her with my aunt. I'm so excited i got to share some of my wedding plans with her and talk to her about her wedding and special moments in her life. I know she's looking down on me and will be with me every day until I see her again in heaven! :)

Friday, January 11, 2008

have my cake... and eat it too??

I made this cake for my friend Sheila's wedding

So I need to get a job a real job and I'm really just ugh I need to do this I know I need to do this and I'm not opposed to it I'm just sooo tired of seemingly working soo hard and doing what I consider is my best so that red tape and what not mean I lose my job. I really kind of feel like a loser even a year after losing my last "REAL" job. I try to like tell myself it wasn't entirely my fault ya know but when the world say ha ha too bad. It makes it really hard ya know... I'm so accustomed to never ending mercy and grace being poured on me from the Lord that when I don't find it in the world it knocks me for a total loop or it has in this case. I feel like the hugest baby for not being able to get out of it I'm an adult for Pete's sake!!! I pray I am praying for a job for the right job. I'm going to a job fair tomorrow night hopefully God has a job waiting for me there. Tonight I was looking at some cake designers websites just for info and examples on wedding cakes my best friend Tiffany and I plan on making my wedding cake ourselves. Its what we seem to always do together hahaha anyways I found a website and it just like put a desire into my heart to really go after and seek something working with cakes and pastries. I don't have a ton of REAL life job experience doing it but I've done a few cakes worth mentioning... I have a lot of knowledge about it and I don't even have to make very much money I really want to learn all of the techniques that go into making gorgeous cakes sugar flowers just playing with food I would enjoy going to work everyday if I baked cakes and frosted cakes and built cakes everyday I can't see myself tiring of it. So I think if this job fair doesn't work out or even if it does I'm going to put together my foodie resume write an amazing cover letter explaining my love for all things edible and put together a portfolio of what I can do with butter flour and frosting.... My family may be eating a lot of my portfolio soon haha I feel better about going back to work with this goal in mind the possibility of learning more about the art of cakes and just playing with food all day would be soooo wonderful for me!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The great dress dilemna

I thought I had it all picked out I thought I knew I thought I had found it my dream dress the beautiful white chiffon dream I would float in down the aisle to become Steve's wife. Until today.... I went to a Florist to talk about flowers I showed her the above picture and we talked about how we could make it my dream bouquet and it SOOO will be... similar to that with orange orchids and burgundy roses hypericum berries and leaves all twiggy and organic like a wild little tree held in my hands... *sigh* What do flowers have to do with my dress... well.. I've always had this like mental picture of how I want my wedding to look and to be what colors what I'll look like etc... and I am hoping for kind of like a hippy flower child bohemian ethereal kind of look. Very natural very soft flowy sheer fabric... wreath of flowers in my hair... sounds beautiful huh? so whats the problem... Well I have 2 dresses picked out the first one is the first dress I ever found that I liked it has long sheer sleeves and fits what i wanted so well and for the longest time it was the dress I saw myself in when I imagined my wedding day... the 2ND one is still sheer billowy fabric but maybe glammed up a little with some sparkly things and short sleeves it was love at first sight... when I saw it I thought dress #1 looked like a night gown. Now I kind of think dress #1 will make the flowers look prettier hahaha isn't the ridiculous... picking a dress based on how it will make my flowers look. I'm so confused... part of me wishes I could wear 2 dresses haha so I'm wrestling with my mental images of these 2 choices trying to figure out which one it is that I want. They're the same price so that's not a factor. I can make the decision solely based on which one I think is best for me. Which one makes me the bride I want to be.... and I wish I could like post pics of them so everyone could see and vote but on the off chance Steve ever visits my blog I can't spoil the surprise... haha I appreciate everyone's opinion that I've asked but its like a straight down the middle tie... ACK!!!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

YAY for Tara!!!

Steve and I got a call tonight from his sister Tara. She and her boyfriend Geoff have decided to get married. I'm so happy for them they're buying a house and settling their family down. The wedding will be in a month and I'm kind of sad Steve and I won't be able to go to their wedding even tho it will just be small and such. Tara is the sister I always wanted. She and I have so much in common and we can talk for hours and email its really fun! Tara is ecstatic Steve and I are getting married cuz it means she'll have a sister. I really wish we could be there tho just because well weddings are special and Tara is my sister and well I'd also really love to kiss and snuggle my genius nephew. Sometimes Michigan feels sooo far away not that its close by but sometimes it feels like the other side of the world. I wish and wonder if there's something we can do for them to help make the day special or what kind of gift we could send. Anyone have any ideas? Tara was worried and felt bad about stealing our thunder. I don't feel like that at all i'm really excited for them. They've had so many blessings in the last few months. They found a wonderful house and Tara got a job promotion. My nephew is on his way to becoming a certifiable genius not to mention the cutest kid on the planet. Its hard to love them so much and be so far away. We miss birthday parties and graduations and now a wedding. We're so excited they're all planning on coming out for our wedding. I think the fact that we want his family to be with us on our wedding day has been a great determent to eloping haha (We're getting more anxious by the day) I truly truly wish Geoff and Tara the best! Yay for weddings!

Friday, January 4, 2008

My precious

So i shamelessly admit I helped orchestrate my own proposal at least the ring selection... I knew i wanted white gold princess cut and something kind of pretty and dainty i had hoped for something a little vintage maybe with some filagree but when i found my ring in its unique classy setting i was sold... I quickly gave it to my mom so when Stev was ready to pop the question she could point him to my perfect ring. I was even concientious about price i didn't go pick out a $5000 ring... I couldn't imagine... Steve and I have always kind of looked at money as our money since we got serious about our relationship there was no way we could justify him spending a fortune on a ring it was out of he question... i'm thankful we didn't break the bank and I still have a beautiful ring that will be timeless... I'm even more excited that we found a band that looks like it was made to go with my ring... I CAN'T wait to have my wedding band cuz it means i'll be married!!! As much as i love my engagement ring i want the set haha i wanna look at my left hand and smile sweetly and be reminded with every sparkle that I'm Steve's wife.
Sometimes tho even without the set it will catch the light just right and it sends a happy little shiver of joy thru me!