So I need to get a job a real job and I'm really just ugh I need to do this I know I need to do this and I'm not opposed to it I'm just sooo tired of seemingly working soo hard and doing what I consider is my best so that red tape and what not mean I lose my job. I really kind of feel like a loser even a year after losing my last "REAL" job. I try to like tell myself it wasn't entirely my fault ya know but when the world say ha ha too bad. It makes it really hard ya know... I'm so accustomed to never ending mercy and grace being poured on me from the Lord that when I don't find it in the world it knocks me for a total loop or it has in this case. I feel like the hugest baby for not being able to get out of it I'm an adult for Pete's sake!!! I pray I am praying for a job for the right job. I'm going to a job fair tomorrow night hopefully God has a job waiting for me there. Tonight I was looking at some cake designers websites just for info and examples on wedding cakes my best friend Tiffany and I plan on making my wedding cake ourselves. Its what we seem to always do together hahaha anyways I found a website and it just like put a desire into my heart to really go after and seek something working with cakes and pastries. I don't have a ton of REAL life job experience doing it but I've done a few cakes worth mentioning... I have a lot of knowledge about it and I don't even have to make very much money I really want to learn all of the techniques that go into making gorgeous cakes sugar flowers just playing with food I would enjoy going to work everyday if I baked cakes and frosted cakes and built cakes everyday I can't see myself tiring of it. So I think if this job fair doesn't work out or even if it does I'm going to put together my foodie resume write an amazing cover letter explaining my love for all things edible and put together a portfolio of what I can do with butter flour and frosting.... My family may be eating a lot of my portfolio soon haha I feel better about going back to work with this goal in mind the possibility of learning more about the art of cakes and just playing with food all day would be soooo wonderful for me!