Wishing and hoping and planning and WAITING...

Myspace Countdown Clocks at WishAFriend.com

246 days 246 days... well its a lot better than the 365 days it was and far superior to the "I dunno if I'll ever meet the man of my dreams and get married" days... 246 days has purpose it has hope it has non refundable cake and flower deposits on it... but why is it so far away.... Why am I such a silly fanciful girl that I wanted to have an October wedding with fall leaves... I know its gorgeous I know its going to be sooo beautiful... I'm so excited to see everything decorated to hold my bouquet for the first time to look at myself in the mirror on the day I become Steve's wife. Only 246 long hard frustrating days to go... My anxious excitment is purely a desire to be his wife to live our own life to make our own life to have our own home with our own things to be answerable only to God and my husband... Sometimes and I could be jaded by ignorance I fully admit that but sometimes I feel like Steve and I are already married except for the fact we sleep in different places and have never had sex... We've been dating for almost 2 years now... I know we'll learn more about eachother than we ever dreamed possible when we're living under the same roof and sharing a bed every night. I know all of that but we have little patterns down we know how to communicate how to grocery shop. He knows without an electronic device i'm an unorganized mess. I know he will never do dishes... He knows if i'm eating some of whatever i'm eating is going to land on my shirt I know he would rather die than leave his dirty socks on the floor next to mine... I'm sure when our wedding is a week away and i'm wrapped up in 100 details with my phone ringing off the hook and family about to step off a plane i'm going to be pulling my hair out wishing for another week... but right now with 246 days... I wish it would come a little faster so I can cook him dinner... fold his socks... pack his lunch... and fall asleep in his arms watching television...