The amazing list of blogs written in my head and never posted…

Sushi Night- We went out to dinner with our friends Joey and Danae. We had a fabulous time and hope we can hang out with them again sometime. I ate Octopus. Steve ate Eel and we’re hoping Joey’s taste buds have grown back after the extra spicy tuna roll we shared! We hope to have dinner with them again soon. What will we eat next? Japanese? Indian? Thai maybe?
Deaira and the amazing technicolors dream shoes- I had been wanting a pair of these new trendy oh so cute flats in a wild funky pattern all unique and eclectic shoes most people would look at and go wow I have nothing to wear those with! I found them haha I even had money to buy then as they were on sale for $9.99 at target… they’re so cute and funky and perfect they’re the best shoes I could ever imagine I wish I could wear them every day but then well maybe they might not be around when I’m 80 for me to show my grand children the most awesome pair of shoes I’ve ever owned in my life…
Thankfulness-a friend from church recently moved her mother into a retirement home and generously offered us any furniture we may need to start our married life. We got 2 dressers, a night stand, a coffee table, an end table and a dining room set along with an adorable strawberry shaped cookie jar. We’re so grateful and woo hoo we’re paying rent on our very first place together… a storage unit on McCarran! God is good and his blessings are many! Thank you Bette and Dawn! We also have a lead on a couch YAY!!!
BABIES!!!- I know so many pregnant mommies… ok so really I only know 3, but its still so exciting! Babies are always such a wonderful blessing. It is so nice to go to church and see a tiny one or hear that sweet tiny little cry. Its so fun to talk to my best friend and help her pick out baby names and plan… I had the opportunity to make a baby shower cake for a young woman at church recently and just wanted to show it off… my plan was to make a pretty gourmet cake well I saw these adorable candies and had to make it a baby cake… I also made a very cool crafty diapers cake. The shower was wonderful tho. Good food and fellowship and cute kids! Thanks Mrs. Lear it was a wonderful time!
So happy together…- Once again I just have to remark on how wonderful my Steve is… watching him grow watching us grow together sometimes the way he responds to me in love and his support boggles my mind. He’ll say the most sweet things or he’ll realize before I even have that maybe something he said was selfish and he apologizes before I even have a chance to feel like he did something wrong or think something is wrong he’s asking me to forgive him. When I think he’s going to react one way he reacts in the totally opposite perfect way… he constantly surprises me and its these delicious perfect surprises in what I view as an already wonderful relationship that make it truly special.. Its weird to think you know someone and be surprised when you find out they're better than you originally thought...
Still waiting… and praying… -Still hoping for a job to come along applying in a lot of places even places where I’d hate to work. I’m getting so frustrated I have my wedding planned but no money to pay for it… on a plus side I’m ordering my dress soon and buying Steve’s wedding band with my tax refund…

I think they call this a Meme???

Ok so Tiffany tagged me on myspace and i figured i would post it here too just for well i dunno something to post haha oddly enough haha coming up with these 10 random facts, goals and weird habits was stored up fodder for several unposted blogs that may turn into full length posts later on so... The odd thing about this was well it took me awhile to come up with the 10 random oddities about myself and now that i'm finished i can think of 100 more... This is for Tiffany :)

So here's 10 random facts, weird habits, goals of mine:

1. I never went to Kindergarden… I had gone to preschool for 2 years or so and when they tested me for kindergarden they said I was smart enough to go straight into first grade.
2. I have eaten some seriously incredible food in my life! Foie gras and truffles, pan seared tuna and wild mushroom risotto… but if I had to choose my favorite food I would pick a cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake.
3. I would have made a great hippie, a long haired flower child wearing loose flowy clothes and singing on street corners… peace love and rock and roll!!! If not for God's supreme wisdom in my birth 30 years later i probably would have been one of those pot smoking, free your mind, dancing around naked chicks at woodstock hahaha and I would have cried buckets when the Beatles broke up...
4. The only thing I have ever wanted to be was a mommy even when I was 4 yrs old I wanted to grow up to be a mommy… that being said Steve is more wonderful than I could have ever imagined and if for any reason we don’t have kids I will be content to live my whole life as his wife.
5. I have never met a vegetable I don’t like, brussel sprouts, cabbage, beets… you name it I’ll eat it!!! The #1 food I dislike is weird funny cheese. I hate bleu cheese and soft goat cheese anything triple cream makes me gag.
6. I hope to someday travel thru Europe and Steve and I would like to visit Japan for our 10 year wedding anniversary.
7. I love to color with crayons in coloring books even at 27 yrs old its relaxing and fun for me.
8. Mosquito’s find me a rare delicacy. The first week I was in Texas I looked like I had an exotic disease I had so many mosquito bites.
9. I was born and raised in the same church that I’m getting married at and if its God’s will the same church I will raise my children in.
10. Tiffany is my best (girl) friend and the reason why i'm doing this. She is also the mother of my favorite kid in the whole world. Sammi is my kindred spirit in miniature. Tiffany is also going to be one of my bridesmaids :D I love her to pieces She's the girlfriend i can and do share everything with and tell everything to. I met her when i was going to school in Oregon and I miss her every single day! (Steve is my #1 bestest friend in the whole wide world and i'm so blessed by him! )

In sickness....

My poor miserable Steve...

This week was a little lesson in selflessness for me... On Tuesday Steve came down with some bug the flu or something... Monday he was fine we went to the florist and turned in our contract. We had lunch at a great new place. (http://www.genghisgrill.com/) We totally loved it! We had Starbucks and we enjoyed a typical Monday for us... Tuesday even started out normal... We talked on the phone Tuesday morning and he complained of a sore throat and stuff but had cough drops and I shouldn’t worry. By the time he came home Tuesday night poor guy had a 101 degree fever was freezing cold and just miserable.
Now I have felt off for a few weeks little sore throat and an occasional twinge in my ears. Lacking for health insurance and hating to burden anyone I Love (like my fiancé or my Dad) with paying for a full price doctor’s visit and prescriptions. I’ve been trying to tough it out with vitamins, prayer and cough drops! Taking care of Steve made it worse haha or his bug attacked me at the same time it attacked him although not as aggressively thankfully...
It was a lesson in selflessness tho because all I wanted to do myself was climb in my bed and snuggle up in the warm covers and sleep like a rock. Poor Steve could hardly walk across the house to the bathroom or sit up in bed to take a shot of Nyquil. So I sat and I watched and I tried to do all those things you remember your mom doing when you're sick as a kid. I put a cool washcloth on his forehead and I made his Alka Seltzer flu cocktails every 4 hours as directed and made sure he drank every drop. When his fever broke and he was more himself I fed him baloney sandwiches (the only food he wanted.) When his temperature spiked to 103.9 I prepared myself to bully him into going to the ER. Thankfully it broke soon after and never spiked again!!!
So hear I sound all noble and selfless putting aside my own feelings to take care of him, and I did!!! Inside I was grumbling and chastising myself because well I wanted to be the one in bed being brought juice and being hugged and kept warm. Then I was chastising myself in the next thought when I realized this isn't the first and only time I will nurse Steve thru the flu. Next time I might also be nursing a very needy sick baby, Steve and Myself and we might just be a little miserable family. I look at is as my job to sacrifice when I can to be selfless and care for him when he's sick even when I'm sick or less sick in this case.
In the past we've had colds together and we've agreed its much more fun to be sick together than apart. We cuddle on the couch and watch movies or the Food Network. We drink hot tea and eat soup. When I’m sick Steve always remembers Hot and Sour soup is my version of Chicken noodle he always stops and gets it take out. (That stuff is magic for head colds!) This time it wasn't as much fun not because we weren't together cuddling or drinking hot tea with honey but because I wanted to be sick. I wanted to be taken care of and bless his heart he knew I was internally grumbling... (And yes Steve I’m sorry maybe I lied a little when I told you I was fine. I’m sorry I was striving to be fine to accept that this is part of my calling to be your wife.)
I would also like to add that when I'm sick and Steve is healthy he is the picture of selfless caregiver! He moves heaven and earth to make sure I have medicine, Orange juice and all those special things I need when I'm sick! He's a very very good nurse... In fact it was less that 2 weeks after we met I realized I could marry him when he sat with me at Urgent care for 3 hours while I waited to be seen. He passed me fresh kleenex and let me use his shoulder as a pillow.
Steve has since told me (Now that he's a little more himself) that he couldn't have made it thru the last 3 days without my cuddles, kisses on his forehead, and probing the thermometer into his reluctant mouth... For all of my grumbling and self-chastising he needed me and appreciated me. Today he even let me sleep while he kept watch. He even told me as a reward I get Pho woo hoo!!! :) Pho makes for a very happy Deaira! I just hope I feel well enough to eat it soon! Nothing sounds better right now than slurping up hot steaming noodles and broth. Dipping thin slices of rare steak into hoisin and chili sauce that will clear my sinuses if only for one precious hour… I think I feel better just thinking about it…

sometimes....

Sometimes I'll get in a mood and seek out and read everything I can about weddings... I'll look over couture wedding dresses even tho they wouldn't fit me in a millions lifetimes.. I could never afford one and I already have my perfect dress... I'll read message boards where women boast and giggle and share special details with each other... It always makes me day dreamy... I close my eyes and I try to imagine that wonderful day down the road. I look for the details like, how do I look in my dress? What about my hair have I imagined it just right... my beautiful flowers will they be as wonderful as I hope? Will everything look as dreamy and romantic as I hope? Will I smile perfectly for every picture... I hate myself in pictures wouldn't it be horrible to have an album full of pics of yourself on your wedding day you thought were ugly??? More than these vain questions I just want to see myself in that place I want to try and experience some of that joy right now... I wanna giggle and be excited when I imagine feeding Steve cake and getting frosting on his nose... purely on accident! 0:) I try to imagine how it will feel to pledge myself body, soul, love and devotion to Steve. Will I ball like a baby? I'm known to ball like a baby or will I be the picture of perfection so content and in love I can deliver every vow and statement with steadfast conviction... Will my eyes sparkle with joy?? I've dreamed of my wedding since I was 5. I've pictured every detail in my head... Why is it that now when I've found the only missing detail in my dreaming (Steve) my plans my dreams and my imaginings seem fuzzy and like I can't quite make them out... Could it be because this is a love beyond my imagination beyond my hopes and dreams more wonderful and brilliant than I ever could have imagined for myself... The details of the wedding itself are over shadowed, overpowered by the sheer love and joy I experience with this man day by day... I'm in shock haha I'm in shock to be blessed with such an amazing and perfect love... its the only logical explanation I can come up with... and its wonderful... still I wish I could envision the decorations and such a little more clearly down to the last leaf garland...haha...and I wish I could have a small taste of the joy and completeness I'll feel on that day but then again maybe if I could I wouldn't be as excited...

Wishing and Hoping and PRAYING!!!

So today I applied for a job! A job I am hoping is the job God wants for me to have cuz it is SOO the job I want to have! I heard about a new place in town that offers classes in cooking! How up my alley is that? I'm hoping and praying and asking everyone I know to pray about it too!! I don't care if I wash dishes all day or chop onions and prep food... ANYTHING to play with food all day to be in an enviroment centered on and focused on teaching people to love and appreciate food! WOW it would be a dream come true and answered prayers! I'm trying to be realistic and not get my hopes up too much but Wow it would just be like the ultimate! Haha I have other job applications out so I know God has a job somewhere I just hope it comes sooner than later the sooner we can start paying off this wedding stuff the better and all the money I make we can literally just ship off to our wedding vendors... First paycheck... Flowers... second paycheck photographer... and on and on... yes lots of prayer! We could also pay for the honeymoon we want... Say it with me..... Steve and Deaira Goble you just got married what are you gonna do next.... WE WANNA GO TO DISNEYLAND!!!

Mommy pangs...

Ms. Chloe Pettit my flower-girl

I went shopping today with my girlfriend Kim and we were at TJ MAX looking at baby stuff... the cutest most adorable baby stuff and i heard my bio clock going tick tick tock... i know i have pleanty of time... obviously before i can have a baby I need to get married haha and i would like to be married and enjoy being married for at least a year before we have a baby... but today surrounded by adorable summer dresses and cute frog prince bath robes... it was hard not to think about how fun it would be to have a baby sooner than later... I wouldn't care boy or girl frilly dresses and tights are just as cute as osh kosh overalls and baseball caps... I can't wait to see Steve teaching our little boy to play Super Mario and I can't wait to bake cookies with my darling girl... Steve and I have had babies on the brain lately we babysat for my friend Kelly mon and weds and her girls are just the sweetest smartest kids! So full of imagination and whimsy... It reminds me of when i was little dragging my doll around playing house. Steve had fun playing with them too... He's still a little nervous around little babies but thats normal... I know he's so excited at the thought of playing dinosaurs and superheros and teaching our boys all about star wars and comic books.. I can't wait to see him dance with our daughters and smile indulgantly when they go on about barbies...steve and I have had many conversations about parenting and family we agree on so much and he's soo wonderful to me... i always knew i wanted to be a mommy and a husband well i knew that was essential to being a mommy but haha until i met Steve a husband was kind of an after thought a means to being a mommy putting hair in pigtails and kissing scraped knees haha Steve knows this about me but Steve i love him so much even if we never had kids he'd be enough... but a dog would be nice too not necessary but nice... So these pangs... i think they're going to have to pang a little bit longer cuz as badly as i wanna smell baby powder and sour milk... poopy diapers and clean slippery baby... I wanna enjoy having a husband first before i enjoy being a mommy... I wanna spend some time learning to be steve's wife before i'm the mother of his children... but boy those baby clothes sure are tempting... and soft snuggly blankies and spiderman stuffed dolls that sing... I'd say i should baby sit more but... hm... hahaha

its hard to see...

Its hard to see at this point in our relationship how we could ever be at war how we could ever not be in love... Even how we could be in love but just be so angry or disenfranchised with eachother that we want a time out... I realize those times will come of course and look forward to the stretching and growing those times can have in our marriage but right now... this side of marriage even being fully aware eyes wide open wanting to please the Lord wanting to please eachother having hearts that yearn to serve and submit its sooo hard as we walk in these steps as we walk along this path towards marriage its hard to imagine WAR or conflict or Go sleep on the couch! haha Steve and I fight we disaree we argue we bicker all of those normal things that happen between 2 people who spend a large amount of time together... We both have a mindset of permanence and committment, a keep going... one more day... just a little more... We can work it out... keep talking even if its all day...So far being engaged has truly been some of the sweetest time we have ever ever spent together... i can look back over our relationship and see how our love has grown how far God has brought us... Since I moved home we have had the most wonderful times of just sweetness and lovey doveyness that would make the average person gag haha Its hard to experience these times when i just feel so blessed by his prescence in my life its insane and then realize there will be times when i'm potentially traumatized by this person being intimately and intricately wrapped up in everything that is my life. We've been talking about this at great length lately... We communicate really well better everyday we have been together for almost 2 years we spend every free minute together if we're not working or sleeping we're together... I know its completely off the wall to assume we have the building blocks set for a perfect conflict free marriage i know no such thing exists and i know its silly to think we have an advantage or anything we can't know til we're experiencing it... its hard tho having not experienced it to feel prepared or to know the best way to prepare in some way and its somewhat discouraging to feel like maybe we just can't be prepared... I just know and hope I can always hold onto the knowledge that he is my blessing, my most perfect gift from God. I can't wait til our wedding day but i wouldn't give up a minute of being engaged its been so valuable these lessons these experiences talking in the car for an hour at midnight... Its hard to imagine not being so wonderfully completely in love with him...and maybe someday when we've been married for 30 years i'll look over these posts and laugh at my naivete... at the silly love struck girl i was so full of hope and promise... I imagine hope and desire that the 30 years older version of me will still be wonderfully and completely in love with him though...