Monday, August 4, 2008

Speechless I thy mercy trust...

God be merciful to me on Thy grace, I rest my plea

Plenteous in compassion Thou Blot out my transgressions now

Wash me, make me pure within Cleanse, oh, cleanse me from my sin

My transgressions I confess Grief and guilt my soul oppress

I have sinned against Thy grace And provoked Thee to Thy face

I confess Thy judgment just Speechless, I, Thy mercy trust

I am evil born in sin Thou desirest truth within Thou alone my Savior art

Teach Thy wisdom to my heart Make me pure, Thy grace bestow

Wash me whiter than the snow

Gracious God, my heart renew Make my spirit right and true

Thy salvation's joy impart Steadfast make my willing heart

Steadfast make my willing heart Broken, humbled to the dust

By Thy wrath and judgment just Let my contrite heart rejoice

And in gladness hear Thy voice From my sins, oh, hide Thy face

Blot them out in boundless grace...

I have had this song on my heart all day since I sang it in church this morning I just feel oppressed today and stressed and like things just aren't coming together or lining up Steve and I were very short tempered with eachother today We just couldn't seem to find our common ground or our happy balance we usually strike and then i had to work and in 5 min time I had to ask my oldest dearest friend an important question on the phone. I sat down at my desk ready to clock in taking long deep breaths and just praying for some peace some stillness some mental quietness and rest from the Lord... He was faithful! Now tonight about to go to bed and the rush of things is over taking my brain its been such a busy couple of weeks and about to get busier as the wedding draws nearer. Steve and I have to get our invitations out in the next 2 weeks. We have to pay off the Cake and flowers by Sept 10. We somehow have to find time to look for an apt have i mentioned we never really see eachother haha My best friend isnt going to be able to make it down for the wedding i'm sad about this seeing her and hugging her kids was something i was really looking forward too but her family is struggling and I want what is best for them truth be known i feel selfish for being sad she can't come the money they'd spend is much better spent on them right now. Steve is so worried about our new car which seems to be having a problem with the trasmission that he gets nervous driving it and so doesn't want to push it. Can i just say for the record I'm sooo tired of the health of our car controlling our lives! I feel like i've hurt or made my oldest dearest friend feel bad for asking her to be my bridesmaid at the last minute like she's a lesser friend when in truth she is the most precious friend God has given me besides Steve. We're really starting to worry if Steve's family will make it out for the wedding... We have so many wedding details and i don't have the answer as to how they'll be resolved I think I understand why people elope but then again if you're only gonna get married once and I am you wouldn't know about this stress til you were in the thick of it...I feel like I never get to sleep anymore haha getting a job seemed to spiral alot of our lives out of control and Steve and I are trying so hard to hang on and know God is faithful and I'm clinging trying to cling and Cast all my cares on Him. Its so easy to feel attacked and 2nd guess I keep reminding myself this is time God has given us to prepare for marriage to teach us how to be married and these lessons this stress will all be benefit to serve us and Him in the future.
Speechless I thy mercy trust....I cast all my cares upon you... I stand firm and know you work everything together for the good!!!
Praise God!

1 comment:

Lindy said...

I'm sorry you are going through a stressful time, it is completely understandable with everything going on! I think it's wonderful that God provided that song for your heart in the mist of everything. Just know that your hard work will pay off, and even if your wedding day doesn't go exactly as planned (it never does) you will be so overwhelmed with joy that it won't matter. Love you and thank you for reading my blog! When the day comes that you are ready to have a baby, we'll have lots to talk about! :-)