Thursday, April 24, 2008

FRUSTRATION!!!

It is nice not to work i'll admit... I have time to goof off watch random movies on demand while i fill out job applications and troll the job seeking websites... i can sleep in late if i want... I can cook myself anythign for lunch... I can take a break from job posting after my next resume edit and plan a wedding i can't afford... but its more than just my wedding ya know i would get married in blue jeans if i had to and tell everyone to bring a potluck dish ( which at first thought seems INCREDIBLY tacky but its an option? maybe? hopefully not?) I haven't had a real job since november of 2006... i've applied at so many places places i don't even want to work at and i haven't had a single call a single interview no inkling even of hope since i came home from texas and employers see long gaps in your employment history and assume you're unmotivated... Unmotivated i've been spending practically every day for the last 4 months looking for a job and applying for jobs! i'm plenty motivated but i can't put Job seeker on my resume... nor babysitter which i've done a TON of in the last year... and yet you have people looking at your resume judging you based on what they see there which is understandable but who's to say i'm unmotivated because i haven't worked and its not for lack of trying... i just want to be working not even to pay for my wedding so much anymore as it is to secure some stability for Steve and I as we start our marriage things like a place to live and a reliable car... the ability to pay the grocery bill? I know young married couples struggle i know its part of the growth process and what not but I feel like we can't even catch a break sometimes... God has been good so good to us and I feel like a lousy whiny complainer we've been blessed with furniture we've been blessed with the ability to afford daily life with steve's paycheck but Steve's income alone isn't going to afford a place to live and electricity and groceries... I'm confident God has a plan I'm confident even now as i'm writing this he is working everything out for us... I'm even willing to wait a little longer but i'd really like to feel like my effort isn't in vain like some good is coming from all of this work i'm putting into finding a job and so my friends my dear friends who pray without ceasing that a job would come for me could see those prayers answered....and i'm tired of writing blogs about being tired of not working....

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

I'd put babysitter on your resume. Why not?