Monday, August 10, 2009

Well... we were gonna... but now we're not...

Or how about... not yet....

So Steve and I have been not not trying to get pregnant for a little while obviously nothing has come of that. Recently we started talking about a trip to Michigan. I've said several times how much we miss our family there and how we long to see them and spend time with them so we're planning a trip. As we've been discussing this and in the planning process we realized if we continued down the road we were going I may be too pregnant to travel or we might be traveling with a very very tiny baby and we're not sure we wanna do that just yet. So now we're not. This whole process has been a learning experience for me. Do I feel ready to have a baby? Do I want a baby??? So so much!!! Some days I feel full to bursting with excitement for the future Baby Gobles that will fill our home. Do I think we're READY to have a baby? Not so much... Not just yet... See there's this stuff that I'd like to see come about before we do that. I'd like a more stable financial situation one that might allow me to stay home or work from home and a real place to live cuz I think its cruel to raise kids in a tiny apartment. I'd like a better idea of things I'd like a plan. I can say naively that I believe in natural labor and delivery and wanna use cloth diapers and home school but I don't really know much more than that... Sure i've read some stuff but i'd like to have a better grasp on things. I'd like to spend some time researching thinking plotting planning. And even if none of that works out I pray and trust God has a plan for us. I know He has plans if I'm pregnant and typing this or if I never get pregnant at all. I know and I trust God is in control he's been lovingly reminding me of this beating me over the head with this saying
"Dearest Deaira... see how I've provided for you in the past... See how I've provided for your friends in these same circumstances.. Silly Sweet girl how could you think I won't provide for you too"
So I'm sad but excited relieved but reassured... God's timing is perfect it always is... I'm kind of looking forward to a little more time to enjoy this husband of mine and this mysterious marriage thing... and a new adventure to Michigan a little trip of our own once again before we settle down and dig into to this serious business of family making...

6 comments:

Tiffany said...

It's a hard decision to make. Sam and I waited a long time to start trying, and then when we did try it still wasn't the right time. It happened when we least expected it. God will give you a baby when the time is right, even if you don't know that it's the right time.

Anonymous said...

Just remember Life is in God's timing...He always gives Grace to get thru each situation....Love ya, girl...and just so you know...You are never ready for kiddos;)

Laurie...

Robyn said...

You should move to Idaho. Cost of living is cheaper here! =)

Kelly said...

Hmmm, somehow I wish you were typing that and already pregnant... but in case you aren't, there will ALWAYS be things that will come up, so don't just postpone the babything because of a trip across the country. You can fly up until you are like 8 months though. And at that point you might as well wait until the baby is born and bring her/him! When they are little teeny, it's a little crazy because you are tired, but you have your hubby to shield you while nursing, and hey, the baby is free to fly for the first 2 years! God's timing is perfect for sure... just wanted to share some thoughts!

Lindy Briggs said...

That picture is hilarious!! It is so true... kids are NOT convenient. They throw a big monkey wrench in all your plans, and they change your life forever. They change your priorities. Suddenly, that big screen TV is just that, and if it gets white paint all over it, it is an opportunity to teach them about why there are rules and why we need God's grace and life goes on :-) We were in a similar boat when we were trying to get pregnant actually-- we thought about how we may not get to go on the Disney Cruise with the Briggs clan (and we did not get to ... but look at our beautiful girl). I agree with having some financial stability and a plan to keep you home. But one thing to consider is the longer you postpone due to vacations, the less time and money there will be for all those fun family vacations... life is short! Love you and praying for you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!

charel said...

dont let Stevie read Lindy's comment about getting paint on the tv or u will never have kids!! lolz