Thankfulness Thankfulness is what I long for!
Thankfulness is what I need!
Thankfulness Thankfulness is what you want from me!
No, I did not lose my job... and where I work its easier most days to get fired than it is to keep your job. I'm just thinking ya know reflecting perhaps on the current state of things. We all know at least one person who's out of work or recently lost a job. I'd be willing to bet we know more than one. ( I can think of 5 off the top of my head) We just heard today that one of Steve's relatives lost his job after 30+ years with the same company. I hear this and I'm sad of course thinking of the impact this has on my friends and my family and then it comes that little knock knock of the Holy Spirit and my ungrateful wicked self is CONVICTED!
I wake up every morning grumbling dragging myself into the shower with a moaning groaning attitude because I have to go to work. I've decided the highlight of my morning ( after kissing my husband) is the coffee pot. (Folger's sure had it right with that slogan except maybe the Folger's part) I long and I pray for the day God allows me to stay home barefoot and pregnant chasing baby Gobles ( yes I know you've heard this song and dance) or at least maybe work from home. I daydream about this not having to rush in the morning about having 2 or 3 or 10 cups of coffee. Even if I have to feed clothe wash and change babies that are screaming ( I say this now... these words will come back to bite me...) anything so that I don't have to walk into a building run by politics, red tape and a time clock. Everyday there's some new form of tedious stupidity like paperwork that must be filled out on every phone call in addition to clicking a web page at least twice per call and signing in and out to go to the restroom and "Failure to comply may result in disciplinary action up to and including termination" some days its like kindergarten. Most days the load feels so heavy one more "required task" and the pile could topple over. Some days I wish for unemployment. If I could stay home and search for a job online or find someway of learning new skills to get a better job. My house would always be clean. I'd never have laundry piled up. Even in the worthwhile things like a clean house it all boils down to an ungrateful discontent sinful ME!
See how easy it is for me to complain to spill out all of the ugliness instead of embracing the simple peaceful knowledge that "This is where God has me" and "This is what God wants me to be doing" Why can't I be content with that. I see the blessings of it I see God's provision in it. I have God with me all day feeding me holding me close to him providing for my stress giving me what I need in each moment even when I don't see him even when my bad attitude gets in the way He's still there... I need a grateful heart! I need a grateful attitude! I need a spirit of Thankfulness!
p.s. I'm gonna need some more help with this Lord!