To be his wife.. Who would have thought who could have thought. Of course I always imagined being the wife of a wonderful man someday. Most young girls dream of loving husbands and babies. I'm no exception. To be his wife however is so much more than playing house and day dreaming ever could have prepared me for. To be blindsided by this unique human being who is so seperate from me and yet so close. I'm sure I've said before I feel like I've always known him that my life our lives surely never existed apart from eachother he seems to fit so well.
To be his wife seems the highest calling God has given me to love honor obey and cherish this man every day the way God loves and cherishes me. A pretty high calling the very highest perhaps God could call me to and yet I find myself joyfully faithfully prayerfully and with tremendous joy and anticipation diving into it. Loving Steven being his wife being his parter helper lover friend and wife seems like the exact thing I want to be. Steve feels like home...
We had a rough day spent pouring over our meager budget compared to our future hopes and past failures and then driving all over town to find a place to live. Our first "home" What a rough raked over the coals day it felt like to me. I felt stripped and anything but loving but at the heart of all of the thoughts whirling in my brain and the list of chores and resposibilities choices and challenges ahead of us at the heart at the center of it was the simple fact of being his wife clinging to him loving him there is nothing I would rather do no one I would rather be than faithful to God loving and cleaving to this husband he's providing for me. Steve is the gift God has given me on days when I feel raw and rough he has given me this man who's shoulder God molded to fit my head. I can hug him or rest my head on his shoulder and we both feel recharged rejuvenated and ready to face the next task.
Steve and I have learned so so much in the last year its impossible to look back without thinking and seeing the leaps and bounds God has took us thru to prepare us for Oct 11, 2008. We thought we knew so much we thought we were so ready a year ago... obviously we weren't or we would have married a year ago. God has been soooo faithful to us and his provision so perfect in so many ways his leadership and guidance in our relationship has been essential will be essential. It is our prayer that when we're old and gray bouncing great grand babies on our bionic knees or even at our funerals that the best thing that could be said about our lives our marriage is "They trusted the Lord" We strive for that we remind eachother of that when we owe $300 to our florist and our car breaks down and costs $300 to fix. And putting the flowers off til next pay day means putting off something else til the pay day after that but God faithfully provides and we trust him and know he is good marriage is good and we count down...only a month left...
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